


Contemporary Ideology Of Romantic Relations.

by a19YearOldTryingHerBest



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, And occasional meta from Abed, Angst, Canon Compliant, Depression, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Fluff, International Fanworks Day 2021, Latina OFC, Not yet but nsfw will show up, Season 2, Slow Burn, a lot of it, mentions of dead characters, there is an attempt to have a plot, well as much as a fanfic can be
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:27:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 35,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25832059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a19YearOldTryingHerBest/pseuds/a19YearOldTryingHerBest
Summary: Ian and Alex are lonely and they both take a liking in the other.I'll add more tags as I go.
Relationships: Ian Duncan/Original Female Character(s), Ian Duncan/Reader
Comments: 33
Kudos: 61





	1. Student-Teacher Relations And Barista Certification.

**Author's Note:**

> This entire series is gonna be long, around 30 chapters because I have to do something and this idea struck a cord with me. English isn't my first language so I'm sorry if there's a misspelled word or something that's off, if so please let me know.
> 
> Please check the notes at the end for update schedules and whatnot.

— Professor?

 _God, what now? Couldn't he eat in peace?_ First Jeff with his existential crisis, then Chang entered the cafeteria, now some student probably wanted to ask him some stupid thing about a class he couldn't care less about. Reluctantly he looked up, ready to half answer anything he was going to get asked as fast as he could so he could finally have his breakfast at lunch time. But the very second he saw her face his mind went blank. He couldn't care less about his empty stomach, his killing headache or the rest of the world.

Her plump lips, sun kissed skin and brown wavy hair made his eyes unable to focus on one thing, he wanted to take all in at once but take an eternity contemplating each of her features. So he focused on his most captivating one, her inquisitive light brown eyes. She had small wrinkles on each side of her eyes and on the right side of her mouth, the one that is gained from laughing and smiling.

He stayed silent for a second, as he tried to remember how to talk, she smiled a little more, the confused look on his face was amusing and a quite endearing. He looked a bit like a deer between headlights, including his big brown eyes filled with confusion and panic — Yeah? — he finally said, apparently recovering some cognitive notions.

— Can I sit? — he couldn't understand much past _pretty girl wants to sit with me_ and the alcohol and the headache weren't helping so he just nodded, trying to remind himself that she was probably a student.

She took a seat in front of him, and he found that the smile still lingering on her mouth made him even more stupid when it was up close — I'm in anthropology 101 but I wasn't able to attend to class today, — how hadn't he noticed her on the first class? She looked so unmissable to him, like a spot of red wine on a white shirt — I was wondering if I missed anything important.

What was he supposed to say to the pretty girl? _Well you didn't miss anything at all, I just pretended to be an anesthesiology teacher just to look at a hot girl who came into the wrong class._ He couldn't tell that to the pretty girl, he had to make the pretty girl think he was a mediocre teacher at the very least. He tried to remember anything useful about anthropology to make up his second fake lesson of the day.

— Well, we talked about... — he remembered the little conversation they had — death, and how... people- cultures deal with It. — she nodded, attentive — So you know, religions, personal beliefs.

She promptly asked — Is that in the book?

— Oh, no, I don't have it. — he panicked for a fraction of a second. 'Would a more than mediocre professor have it?' He wondered. But his brain stopped his soon to be self-deprecating rant to a halt when she smiled, relaxed.

— Me neither, it's way too expensive. — he smiled, she found his choice relatable and charming, to some extent, he was sure of it, even if he didn't know exactly why.

They stayed smiling at each other for a second before he had to continue with the conversation — Is there any other question I can answer? — never in a million years he would've said that -and meant it- to another student, but Pretty Girl had something he couldn't resist.

— Oh. Yeah, what's that drink? — she said, pointing at the cold, coffee-based, cream-filled drink standing in the table right next to his left hand.

He looked at It, trying to remember the name of that monstrosity they called drink — This is a... whipped coffee frap with a lot of cream.

— Is it any good? — she asked, slightly raising an eyebrow, smile still in place. Would she ever stop smiling? He didn't care if she didn't, not only that, he hoped she would never stop, much less at him.

— Do you want to taste it? — he froze. Why had he said that? Was it out of line? He looked at her fearing rejection or worse. He, for the first time in a while, didn't mean it with second intentions or anything like that, it was just an impulse to let her taste the stupid drink.

— Sure. — she assured, like if it was nothing out of the ordinary. Ian grabbed the plastic cup and extend it to her, thinking she would grab the cup, drink some and give it back. Instead, she grabbed the top of the straw that was in the drink and drank some from there as he held the cup. Somehow there was something more intimate and so much more titillating in that interaction. Something about her hand grabbing the straw so delicately as his hands held the cup near her and her red tinted lips slowly sucked from the straw he had just drank from and which he would use again, there was something about all that that tugged a small string inside of him.

She then let go of the straw and the moment was over, but her smile was still there — Thank you. — a small yet unmissable flush caressed her cheeks. Was she flushed by her own actions or his persistent gaze? He couldn't tell — It's really good- and sweet.

— Yeah. — he agreed — quite sweet. — he wondered if her lips would taste like that drink now, so sweet and soft. And she wondered the same about his, just for a fraction of a second, but she still thought of it and she reprimanded herself for it with strong words whispered in her head. And, as she did, her smile disappeared from her lips. It caught him by surprise, her smile leaving like that, leaving him all alone in the middle of nowhere, like his guiding lighthouse shutting down on a stormy night as his ship drifted in the dark.

He didn't mean to feel it like that, but he couldn't help it. He didn't received such delightful smiles very often. He didn't really received smiles. So, without even knowing, this woman was just giving him something he hadn't gotten in so long. And, now that it was gone, he wanted it back. — Is everything alright? — he asked, surprising himself yet again. He felt like an moron. He shouldn't care, he never did before. He was becoming an absolute idiot. He barely knew her, he shouldn't think of her as a pretty girl she should be just hot, not a lighthouse guiding him but some nice tits to look at..

— Yeah, — she smiled again and his heart rested, even if he didn't want it to — I just have class.

— Oh, sure. — he said, a bit disappointed as she stood up — I hope I was of some assistance.

— You have been, Professor Duncan. — she was about to leave but he stopped her for a second.

— Pardon me but I don't believe I got your name. — he said, just to look and hear her some more.

— Oh, it's Ale. — she shook her head and repaired — Alex.

— Nice to meet you, Alex. — he extended his hand to hers. Maybe it was just an unintentional excuse to touch her, he thought.

She smiled one last time, grabbing his hand and shaking it firmly — Nice to meet you too, professor. — he watched her as she walked away, hoping she wouldn't turn around and saw him staring.

The day and a half that passed between that moment and the next class couldn't have passed fast enough.

She was nowhere to be found as he entered the class, he was somewhat sober, he just had a quick drink or two to drown his nerves. Nerves of what? He wasn't ready to admit it, even if he knew damn well it was about seeing the pretty girl and having to teach something to her. The class hadn't started yet, but he was there, early, probably for the first time in the history of Greendale.

Then, as the clock marked ten o'clock and everyone was starting to settle into their sits, Alex slowly walked through the door. She looked at him with a soft half smile, maybe wondering 'Am I on time?'. She stood there, a few feet from him, holding her notebooks in one hand and a cold drink in the other, apparently waiting for some sing to seat down so he complied — Alex, right on time. — he noted with some joy behind his words — Would you mind closing the door?

She did as she was asked and closed the door with her elbow, given both of her hands were busy, then he noted the drink in her hand wasn't just any drink but the one he had the week before, the one she had asked about. He thought about commenting on it. Is it any good? Sweet as mine? Interesting choice of beverage, Alex. God no. He decided not to but his eyes were still on the cup and she noted.

— As sweet as advertised. — she said with a cheeky smile, playing him an ambush in his own mind. He looked up to her face and felt word escape his mind as she extended the cup to him — Want some?

He nodded slowly. Why say yes? Saying no was so much easier. But he would be lying if he had said he didn't know why he had said yes. He thought of doing what she had done the week before, just taking the straw and drinking from there as she held the cup, but he was sure it wouldn't even be half as sexy as she had made it to be. Instead, he gently grabbed the cup, took a couple of sips and gave it back to her, his hands shaking slightly in the process, maybe it was the alcohol maybe it was her fingertips caressing the back of his hand — Thanks.

She gave him an light smile, clearly meaning _"it's nothing"_.

He watched her walk to her seat, and found himself a little dazzle when she sat down and he had to look away so she wouldn't caught him staring, but instead he caught Jeff staring at him, one raised eyebrow and a smug look on his face, he knew something was up, no question about it. Lucky for him the rest of the class was completely in their own worlds, paying no attention to him, even Alex, who was talking to Abed. He wished to know what they were talking so energetically about.

He shook his head of those thoughts and tried to remember some of the things he had read about anthropology the night before at three in the morning. Luckily he had some notes to help him through the class. He took those papers out and cleared his throat, calling for everyone's attention — Hello. So today we're gonna do things. — there was a general disgruntled hum from the class — I know, I hate it, too. — he unconsciously looked at Alex to see her reaction, which was similar to a smile but less enthusiastic — Any-who. — he looked at his notes and read — Anthropology is the study of mankind -as we've said before-. — he said as he wrote _"ANTHROPOLOGY"_ in the chalk board — This science was divided into two branches of itself, the Social Anthropology and Cultural Anthropology. — he drew two arrows under the first word and wrote the other two below — So, today, we're going to... define them and add things about mankind we think would be studied by them. I open this to the floor. — he said as he walked in front of his desk and then leaned on it, almost toppling over a desk lamp in the process. Still, for a few seconds, which he took to look at Alex since she was writing things down, still no one answered — I'm not asking the complete number of pi. — the brunette of Jeff's group raised her hand and he pointed at her — Yeah, you.

— Cultural Anthropology is the study of humankind culture and it's changing, while Social Anthropology is about social structures.

— See? Thank you. — he looked at the rest of the room only thinking of how much he hated this subject — Not that difficult now, was it? — he added — Now- — a knock at the door interrupted him. He sighted — Come in.

The dean opened the door — Hello. I was just passing by, remin _dean_ everyone that the school flag contest ends today, — he looked around the room — everyone has until six to submit their design, anonymously. — Duncan looked at him waiting for anything else but he just stayed there for a moment, his hand in the doorknob as he nodded slightly — That was all. — he said before leaving the classroom.

— That was... pointless. — Duncan said to himself, earning a nod of agreement from a few students.

— Can we do the flags instead? — asked Troy.

Ian looked at him, his first instinct was to say no, but then he thought about it and nodded— Yeah, it's not like I know what the hell in talking about here.

Duncan sat down as everyone distracted themselves with anything they had at hand, only Jeff's group going to one table to laugh as they made some stupid flag. Ian wished he hadn't drink the nice bottle of whisky he usually carried in his suitcase before class, but he had, and it left him with no other choice but to drink the cheap vodka in his "emergency" flask. Having nothing else to do -besides grading some physiology papers he wasn't going to grade- he put his feet up in his desk and drank some as the class run its own course, looking at Alex ever so often while she was reading. She was perfect, she seemed to be at least, so he gave up the wishful idea dating her and console himself on the fact that he could look at her pretty face twice a week even if they probably wouldn't have another conversation for the rest of the year.

When he looked again she was standing up and going his way. He kicked his feet off the desk and straightened up a little. She stopped in front of his desk and smiled before speaking — Professor, I was wondering if I could have your e-mail?

She left him dumbfounded and, unable to formulate any questions, so he nodded, stuttering — I- ah... Yeah. Yes. Sure.


	2. Modern Technology And Communication.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex goes through her busy day being happily interrupted by many misspelled messages about Grendale's contest for the new flag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really tried to evoke the whole "Con-4-s-8-tion" thing but I honestly think nothing can really live up to it.  
> Anyway, I was going to post this like four days ago but I totally forgot, so here it is today. Enjoy! Or don't, if you don't want, I'm not your boss.

_“Did u see the flags?”_ She smiled at the text, remembering the various borderline obscene and very stupid designs for the new Greendale flag. Most were made for laughs and there were two or three that looked like they had some drug induced effort in it.

She put the phone down for a second, leaving her phone on her tray and preparing to pay for her breakfast.

As she walked away she grabbed the cellphone again and typed _“God, yes. I'm voting for the butt one”_ she sat down in an empty table and drank some water.

Her phone buzzed on the table _“Where there any non-butt 1s?”_ she laughed and covered her mouth to prevent spitting some water on the table. She swallowed the water and tried to calm herself after coughing for a little while.

She started typing _“Fair. I meant the butt hole. The one with Latin”_ she send the message and followed it up with _“Very classy and I very much doubt the dean will realize what it is before declaring it the flag”_ she left her cellphone on the table and continued eating while reading her notes from the her History 102 class and trying not to think about the fact that he hadn't replied for about twenty minutes. He was busy, most likely, and even if he wasn't, why should she care? Exactly, she shouldn't. Even if it made her feel strangely content when she was talking to him, even if he made her laugh like almost no one else could.

God, why did she had to feel like that? Sure the fact that she hadn't been in any sort of relationship for over two years made her more prone to feel those stupid thing for any idiot walking her way, but she refused to feel like that, or at least she tried to. And she thought she could manage but then, as she was tidying everything up to go to her second class of the day, her cellphone vibrated twice, making her smile to the idea of who was texting.

She was gonna take her cellphone and reply but she stopped herself. She wouldn't answer now, she would wait until the end of the class. And as she promised herself that, she started walking to her classroom.

She took a seat on an empty space, leaving her backpack on the table, and waited. And then she waited some more. And a little more. And then, as the clock marked the teacher's twelve minutes delay, she gave in and went to her messages.

_“Good choice. He probably won't_ _”_ read the first message. He was an awful texter, using abbreviation left and right, sometimes using numbers, missing letters and, on occasion, outright words. But at the very least he mildly punctuated his phrases _“However, I prefr the 1 with d dangling penis b-hind the green apple and the thunder”_ it was ungodly but somehow she didn't mind, even if she very much did.

_“Oh yeah, a true masterpiece that one. Very symbolic”_ she typed quickly and hit send with a stupid smile on her face.

As she waited for him to reply the teacher calmly entered the room — Good morning everyone. Sorry I'm late. — he left his belongings on the desk and started to look for something, but she wasn't focusing on him, she was reading the message Duncan had just send her.

_“A gr-8 homage to what greendale is”_

She laughed quietly and replied _“Sums it up pretty simply. Stupid and ridiculous”_

She realized that the professor had started talking for a while, so she tried to pay some attention, at least until she received a response that simple read _“And pointless”_

She smiled _“Yes, very pointless”_

_“Any 2nd favorite?”_ He replied.

She thought about it and was about to say a few things about a couple of flags that had caught her eye but she realized she would end up texting him trough the entire class, so she put her phone in her backpack and tried to pay attention to the teacher.

It wasn't weird was it? Texting at teacher outside the curriculum? They were both very much adults and they were just chatting, grown up people who were friendly to each other, nothing wrong about that. Not that there would be anything wrong if there were something else than friends. Not that she was planning on it, it was just a thought. A dumb thought that had already found it's way to her bedtime daydreaming once or twice. It wasn't like she trying to think of him, he had just appeared there and she fell asleep faster.

She realized she was getting distracted again so she took a deep breath and focused on the task at hand. Lucky for her she liked biology and she was good at it so the class went by fairly easily.

She wrote the chapters the teacher said to read for the next class and then left the room, going to her locker to leave the books she had been carrying around all morning.

Since Duncan had taken upon teaching Anthropology her timetable had slightly changed. Now, instead of having Anthropology 101 right after Biology 102, she had four free hours in between. I had been signed off by the dean since it didn't bother any of the students in that class and it didn't overlap with Duncan's timetable. So now she had enough time to go back home and make lunch. Which meant she now had to pick up her nephew from school, do some chores and take care of her nephew before her brother picked him up before she had to get back in time to take the class.

She sighted and gathered the energy to do all that. Not short after she was waiting the bus and, out of boredom, got her phone out of her pocket, reading Duncan's text one more time.

She typed _“If I had to choose another one it would be a tie between the smelly butt and the stick figure with the green explosion”_ she hit send and looked ahead, hoping to see the bus, it still wasn't there. She checked the time, it was a couple of minutes late, nothing to worry about.

Her phone rang shortly _“The smelly butt?”_ Ian asked

_“Yeah.”_ She typed, but she but the task on hold when she saw the bus nearing the stop. She hailed for it and got on as it stopped in from of her. When she sat down she started typing again _“The one that almost looks like a sunrise over two hills”_ she sent and almost immediately got a response.

_“I thought those wr boobs”_

She laughed at the text.

_“And what would the lines be then?”_ she asked, not picturing any interpretation other than the smell.

She observed the paved road and planted trees as she waited for a message, which she got after a few minutes

_“A thing to show how gr-8 they r”_ he explained, bringing a lopsided smile to her face. And he followed it with _“like a diamond cartoon”_

Still smiling, she lifted a eyebrow while typing _“Really?”_ She would often do that, doing facial expression as if she were talking. This time it took Ian about ten minutes to answer, which she occupied with some music, still she had to get off the bus before she was able to read it so, on the risk of getting mugged, she held back her impulses and promised to wait until she got home to answer the message, which took long since she had to pick up her nephew from school. She got home and she had started cooking lunch when she remembered the text.

_“Yes”_ he said and then questioned _“How can they b smelly lines? they arent wavy”_

She flipped the chicken breast on the grill and stirred the vegetables on the pot before she texted him back

_“Fair”_. She sent, following with _“But where are the nipples then? They could've put houses or trees but it doesn't have any. Hence a butt”_

She put down the phone before calling for her nephew — Eric! — the nine year old showed up as she was carrying the silverware for the table — Can you tell granny that lunch is ready?

— Yeah! — the kid screamed before running off to the bedroom, leaving her smiling as she was setting the table. She went back to the kitchenette and took the vegetables off the pot. The kid showed up again with a big smile on his face — She says she's coming.

— Thank you. — she put the chicken on a plate — Now, go wash your hands, okay?

The kid did as he was told and she set the food, condiments and beverage to the table right before her mother got to the table — Hi.

— Hey, mom. — she gave her a smiled by reflex at her before sitting down — How was your day?

— It was ok. — her mom said as she grabbed the water bottle and pouring some for everyone — How about yours?

— Fine. I wasn't able to shop for groceries yet, I'll do it later today.

— Alright. —the elder woman said as she sat down — Is Franco eating here tonight?

— I don't think so, ma. — she took her mother's plate and gave her a serving before giving it back — He'll probably come pick up Eric and go home.

Eric came from the bathroom and stood In front of Alex, showing her his washer hands — Clean!

She playfully inspected them, looking at him with a fake suspicious look and nodding slowly — Alright.

They ate mostly in silence after that, only listening to Eric talk about school, his dog and the movie he went to see with his father. After eating, Alex did the dishes and her mom went to watch TV upstairs, leaving her to help little Eric with is English and Math homework, which she did as she cleaned around the house, sweeping, dusting, explaining multiplication and the correct use of the past tense.

Once she was done with both tasks she grabbed a sweet treat to share with her nephew as they watched some cartoons. She saw her cellphone and remembered the unanswered text she had.

_“Still, the lines...”_

She thought back to the flag, maybe Duncan was slightly right.  
 _“Maybe it's showing a great butt instead of a smelly one”_ she wrote, smiling at the stupidity of the conversation.

She left the phone on the coffee table to ease the complains of her nephew about her not paying attention to the cartoon. After the show was done and both her and Eric had a juice box, while watching stupid videos on the internet with the kid, she got a call from her brother. She picked up, annoyed on his tardiness.

— Franco, where are you? — she complained without sparing a hello.

— Alright, calm down. I'm getting there. I'll be there in 20 minutes, half an hour tops. — she groaned, she knew the class wasn't that serious or anything, but it was nice to go there even if she learned nothing, she had a nice time and felt like she was being productive, even if she wasn't.

— C'mon, you can't do this to me, next bus leaves in ten minutes, I have a class. — she almost begged.

— Then take the next one. — he said as if she hadn't thought of it.

— The next one comes forty five minutes later, idiot. — she said irritated at his I-know-better attitude even when he didn't know shit.

— Okay. — he thought for a second before saying — I'll- I'll take you to class, then. Just be ready when I get there. Alright?

She nodded to herself pleased with the result — Yeah, alright. Bye.

— Bye. — she heard him say before hanging up. She sighted and looked at her nephew — Your dad's running late.

— Oh. Okay. — the kid said before going back to look at the computer. She found it amusing and ruffled the kid's hair before standing up and going to the backyard. She took the box of cigarettes off her hiding place and lit one up, relaxing into the wall as he exhaled the smoke. She grabbed her cellphone and went to the messages.

Duncan had already replied _“I don't think so”_ once again writing a full sentence in actual English, without the barely needed and nonsensical abbreviations he usually used.

She lifted one of her eyebrows as she smiled and asked him _“Have you seen the picture?”_ before taking another drag from the tobacco. She kept her phone in her hand as she waited, leaning against the wall and smoking to relax a bit. Soon the phone vibrated in her hand and, before she could look at it it, did it a second time. She opened it seeing a message from his brother beside the customary one from Duncan.

The one from his brother just read _“There in 10”_ she didn't bothered to answer it. She took another drag from her cigarette before opening Duncan's message.

She smiled at his response _“I have. Those r boobs”_

She just sent _“You're dead wrong”_ before smoking the last bit of her cigarette and leaving her cellphone on her back pocket. She went inside the house and grabbed her nephew's backpack, leaving it near the door — Eric, sweetie, can you put on your shoes and get ready to leave? Your dad will be here soon. — she said going towards her mom's room to check on her. She opened the door seeing her mom's grey hair stick out the covers as she slept peacefully, Alex closed the door and went back to the living room, helping the kid tie his shoelaces. Soon after they were both outside the house and getting into her brother's car — Hi. — she said, after helping Eric fasten his seatbelt.

— Hi. — he said back before starting the car and driving off to her college.

They didn't speak beyond Eric's homework and some small talk about her studies, his work or the weather. They hadn't much to say and they didn't really know eachother, and even thought sometimes they would have some sort of sibling bickering most of the time they were a little disconnected from eachother and they had never done te effort to connect.

She felt her phone vibrate in her back pocket and grabbed, seeing the expected response from Duncan  
 _“I am? r u the the creator of this masterpiece? do u know its orignal in-10th?”_ She snorted shortly at the text, but was mostly amused for his spelling -if one could call it that- of intent. He was unbelievable.

_“Maybe I am”_ she teased, following it up with another text saying _“Thank you for appreciating my work even if you didn't understand it right”_

— Should I park? — Alex looked up from her phone at the voice of her brother, seeing Greendale's front entrance half a block away from them.

— No, you can stop there, it's alright. — she assures before checking the time on her cellphone, seeing the class probably had already started but she wasn't tragically late. Just before she had put it away she got another message from Duncan.

_“Most of d class dsnt think the same”_ she felt a bit shocked, he was discussing it with the class?

_“What?”_ she sent right as his brother stopped the car. She took her eyes off her cellphone to look at her nephew, who was clearly falling asleep — See you tomorrow kid. — to witch he answered a sleepy goodbye that made her heart melt. She looked at her brother with a sincere but quick smile — Thanks for dropping me off. — she said before stepping off the car.

— No problem. — she heard him say as she started walking to Duncan's class.

She felt her cellphone vibrate again and looked at the text.

_“Come by and d-fend yr point”_

Oh, she would.

After debating through the entire time, Troy, Vicky, Abed and her finally convinced Duncan and Star-burns that it was a butt and not boobs. The rest of the class didn't care enough to argue for either side so they just watched amused or slept through it.

Already defeated, Duncan checked his watch and dismissed the class, she started to put her things on her backpack when she noted him looking at her. She smiled mockingly triumphant at Duncan as she walked towards him. He gave her a lopsided smile, accepting defeat yet letting her tease him about it, maybe even wanting her to — Told you.— she said, stopping right by his desk, the very one he was standing behind of.

— Don't let it get to your head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. I hope you liked it.
> 
> If you have any notes, suggestions, feelings that you want to put into words or literally anything at all that you want to say, feel free to comment it.
> 
> Lots of love!  
> — Mai


	3. Visual Aid And Intro to Nutrition.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Ian talk on their way to lunch.

He had been showing videos for the entire class and it had all started with Alex e-maling him the link to a dumb video the day before with the subject " _Something to study. Definitely says a lot about humanity_ " The same excuse he had given Annie weeks prior when they were discussing the flags for Greendale -Humans made them Annie, they're part of mankind's history now!-, which was a stupid excuse but fairly good at the same time. He had found it hilarious and sent him a different video back with the assurance that "defin-8-ly worth studying. Who d hell thought that was a good idea?" Which was fair to say. Who would think jumping from the roof of a two stories house to a pool, all in a bike, wasn't gonna end terribly? Well, two idiots from South Dakota, that's who.

She didn't reply but he didn't worry, the video was pretty funny and she was probably busy. He did, however, filled out a request to use the projector the next day, he was lucky it wasn't being requested by anyone else so he got it. So, there he was, finishing up the class with one last video of a cat playing the piano featuring god of farts, remix. All because of one email she had sent the night before at a quarter past eleven.

The class stood up as he struggled to take the projector, computer and little gray table to the back of the room, seeing particular danger on dropping the machine to the floor every time he tried to lift it over the each step. He left the table on the ground and lifted his arms in complaint — Jeffrey, a little help? — She, not even three feet away from her seat, looked at him and then at Jeffrey, seeing Winger give Duncan a fake sorry-can't-do smile as he shrugged his shoulders and walked through the door. She looked back at Duncan and smiled with endearment at the disbelief plastered on his face.

She turned around and walked through the classroom to stand on the other side of that grey table, leaving her backpack by her feet and then smiling softly at the British man standing by the other side of it with a dumbfounded look on his face. A beat went by when he didn't react at all, so she lifted her side of the table, looking at him a bit amused — C'mon. — he imitated her movements and carefully lifted the table with the computer and projector all the way to the back of the classroom as everyone emptied it out.

— Thank you very much. — he said as they left the table on the floor. It was still a bit weird, they talked all the time via messages, they were friends, but even if they saw each other at least twice a week it was strangely unusual to be this alone with each other. They hadn't spend all that time one on one, only talking in person a few times in the hallway after class. And maybe it was a bit more weird because they were in an empty classroom, he was touching her arm ever so softly and so briefly, not to mention there was an obvious smell of alcohol in his breath. She refused to admit it to herself but she blushed lightly at the touch and the kind way he was talking to her, and maybe, just maybe, she had noted the way he was looking at her lips.

— It's nothing. — she assured. There was a natural good mood on both of them, not only because they were talking to each other -which, they had both realized, put them in a good mood- but also because they had spent 90 minutes watching stupid videos on the internet, and that really didn't just ruin anybody's mood. She went to the place were she had left her backpack and Ian followed suit, at a cautious distance, trying not to step into her personal space, but hopelessly looking at her body and the way she moved so carefree and delicately. She felt comfortable in her body, or at least she appeared to be. Her movements weren't retracted or shy but they weren't dominant per se.

She stood still, slightly leaning on her right leg as she checked something on her phone. He couldn't help to notice her body and it's curves, he tried not to do it often, he felt kind of bad whenever he did it. Whenever he looked at her like that, it felt like he was somehow betraying her trust. They were friends now. At least he thought so. They had been talking for a few weeks and he felt like they were becoming friends. So, when he talked to her, he'd try not to flirt, stare or think of her like he would usually do about a woman he was sexually interested in. He had realized he had a little bit of a Madonna/whore complex. Still, he couldn't help it when he would wake up with a erection in the morning and the vague memory of his dream and how Alex's lips felt rapped around his cock in them. And what was he to do but get off to the thoughts and ideas of every thing he would do to her and every pace, position and place he would do it in? And He could've sworn it felt so much to think of her than to think of anyone else.

He didn't mean anything by it. They were fantasies and he assured himself wasn't delusional to the point of thinking they would come true, he just liked the idea. It was a wish he professed to the night not hoping much of it. However, in the morning, when they were just talking as friends, he pushed those ideas as far away as he could. But, sometimes it was harder, sometimes, like that time, his body would grow hot at the faint memory of that night's dream, making it so hard for him to compartmentalize his ideas towards her. Unable to leave in the night what belonged in the night, he'd remember how his brain thought she would sound moaning, how her back would arch at his touch, how her eyes would flutter shut as he went deeper inside her, how her skin would feel against his own, how her lips would taste and how her eyes would look at him as she told him she loved him.

His thoughts stopped and his blood rushed to his feet; that was new.

His fantasies never included things like that, they didn't include feelings, much less love, they were sexual in nature and far-fetched in concept, they were the escapades of a lonely man.

He would have to think the implications of his thoughts and fantasies later because right then, the apparently new found object of his affection, was standing in font of him, letting him see in her side profile that she was very annoyed about something on her phone. He slightly frowned and asked — What's wrong? — she looked at him, both inadvertently letting their faces relax.

— Oh, — she smiled and started walking towards the door as she was talking, apparently now in a hallway conversation with him — nothing; my brother is being an idiot. — he looked at her with interest, letting her know he would listen if she wanted to tell him. Surprisingly, it was true, he wasn't trying to get in her pants by feign interest, he actually cared to know why was her brother being an idiot and wanted to help — He's trying to guilt trip me into babysitting his kid. — as he nodded, seeing how that could be annoying, he realized they were reaching the cafeteria. Still, she felt the need to clarify — Don't get me wrong. I love the kid, and I take care of him almost everyday but he wants me to miss a class and I don't want to do that.

— Why not? — he asked, used to ask those sort of questions on therapy to get the full picture and the reasoning of the patient. Of course, she wasn't a patient but it was a force of habit and it worked wonders to get to know someone. Not that he ever really used it.

She stayed quiet for a moment, apparently thinking about it. Duncan realized that she looked even prettier when she was serious and thinking. He considered the idea of making the class take an exam the next week just to see her think for an hour, maybe, if he was lucky, she would even bite her lip or pen like she had done a couple of times before. At that moment he also realized that he wasn't as great at compartmentalizing as he had thought — I guess they don't take my studies seriously, — she finally said as they walked through the cafeteria to get in queue for lunch — and maybe they aren't, everyone knows this school it's mostly trash, but they're mine, and sometimes they are the only thing that is mine. — he nodded as she looked at him, both grabbing a plate to get some food — It's not like I haven't given it up before but you gotta draw the line somewhere, right?

He was mesmerized, she wasn't selfish but she wasn't a pushover either, she was realistic but seemed hopeful. He closed his eyes briefly, he shouldn't idealize her — Yeah. It's understandable, you don't owe them anything, especially if it's at your spend. — he hoped she knew he wasn't just agreeing with her to please her but that he actually agreed with her.

— Exactly. — she said before giving the lunch lady her plate asking for some pasta and veggies and then grabbing a water bottle, he asked for almost the same but with a little more pasta and a soda instead. She was already about to pay for her lunch when she asked on impulse for a few Twizzlers — To share. — she explained to him with a sweet smile, making him light up to the understanding that they were having lunch together.

— Sure. — he nodded with a lopsided smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally forgot to publish this on Sunday since it was my birthday but here it is.  
> I guess one could say this is a bit of a filler.
> 
> Thank you for reading!  
> All the love


	4. Intro To Dramatic Lightning.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Alex find each other on the set of "ABED"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a set up chapter more or less. It's to set up what is gonna happen next chapter but it's still nice. I hope.  
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos and everything

She never stayed late at the campus, not this late at least. It was at least half past six and they had just finished putting the lights on for the last scene of Abed's movie. Or maybe it was the first one, or both. She wouldn't have stayed to help if it wasn't that Abed had asked her. Of course, the fact that everyone was talking about it, spraying rumors and starting urban legends about it made her want to be there even more. If it was as amazing as everyone was saying she had to see it with her own two eyes.

And some of it was amazing, like how deep in character Abed was or how much everyone was collaborating and how convinced they were that it was a masterpiece. She reserved her opinion, mainly because everyone at the AV class was idolizing Abed and she thought of him as a friend so she wouldn't want to be the one to point out that the movie made no sense; besides it was nice that everyone was so excited about the same thing.

As part of the small group of movie geeks and the audiovisual class she was also -almost automatically- part of the AV club. To be there was part of her -nonbinding- duty to help the other members.

When Abed sat down to see the raw cut of the movie she went to the back of the room to get some air, standing next to the cafeteria door checking the time to see how long she could stay. She had couple of hours until the last bus that would drop her near home would pass by. She sighted, wishing she had some more liberty with her transportation. Sadly, she couldn't, she was a terrible a driver.

She stayed there, toying with the small silver pendant of her necklace as she watched Abed react to his movie, it wasn't good. She felt bad but there wasn't much she could do. Slowly, the door next to her opened, showing a curious Duncan behind it. She smiled when she recognized his side profile. He closed the door and she cleared her throat — Cast and crew only. — she joked. He turned around slightly startled and then relaxed, giving out a smile with a silent chuckle.

She smiled a bit more, those dammed dimples he had that made him look stupidly cute had affected her more than she would've liked to admit.

— Hey. — he finally said before leaning on the free space on the wall beside her — So what are you, cast or crew?

— Crew. — she scoffed — You don't wanna see this — she pointed to her entire self — in front of a camera.

His eyes scanned her quickly as he became strangely serious but leaving some levity to it — Now, why wouldn't I?

They were already looking at each other but his comment made her feel giddy and grin like an idiot. She was able to control it, shaking her head to control her smile and light blush, but she wasn't able to look at him in the eye just yet. Still, she spoke looking at his feet for a moment — So, what are you doing here anyways?

He sighted softly as he leaned backwards against the wall. She looked at him as the tedious reality settled back into his chest — Grading papers, drinking, avoiding going home. — he looked at the scene taking place about thirty feet from them, missing the way she was looking at him as the dim light graced the side of his face — Seeing the spectacle. — he added and she looked at it too. Everyone was still quiet, looking at Abed as he watched the computer with Starburns. She looked at Abed's mild expression of discomfort and sadness that his eyes carried, he didn't like what he was seeing. Maybe that meant that it would be over soon or it wouldn't be over for a long, long time.

She stopped looking at Abed the moment she felt Duncan's eyes on her — Nice combo. — she gave him a teasing, lopsided smile.

They stayed quiet for a moment as they both became aware of how close they were to the other. It was a big wall they were leaning against but their arms were managing brush against each other. She let it happen, feeling a small tingle of electricity go through her body every time, which made her feel kind of stupid since it was just the sleeve of his shirt that was touching her skin. Still, she absentmindedly got closer to him, to his light brush and the electricity and fire it provoked inside her, and he noted it but he assured himself it was the alcohol that was confusing him, that he was imagining it.

She thought she had seen Abed walk out of the set but she wasn't going to check twice, she didn't want to look away from his beautiful brown eyes.

She saw him scan her features slowly, lingering on her lips before rushing back to her eyes — So, do you have to stay long? — he asked, suddenly fueled by the wish to have her alone for him to talk, hear and see. There was enough of her beauty to share with the entire world, he was sure if it, but he was selfish and there wasn't much beauty in his life, he wanted to have as much for himself as he could get.

She gave him yet sly smile, knowing- hoping to know what he was thinking. Excitement rushed from her belly to the rest of her body as he looked at her lips for a moment and smiled back — I don't know, depends on what Abed decides to do. — she said, more to remind herself that she couldn't just get up and go, she had to stay — I'm help with the lights, I kind of have to stay here until they're done with the scene. — she said, slightly lamenting her previous compromise. Her eyes darted around his face for a few moments, seeing his soft lips curb ever so slightly as she glanced at them and seeing his eyes glimmer when she went back to them, softly asking — Why?

He smiled just a bit more, pleased she was interested. He wondered if it was too sudden to offer a little bit of slap and tickle. He decided against it, fearing she would pull back by an upfront proposal. He chose to play it subtle for once — Because I still have some of that wine I was talking about today and I was just about to watch some more videos in the classroom; and, to be honest, I wouldn't mind the help moving the projector again.

Her eyebrows shot up a little as she teased him — So you _need_ my help.

His eyes darted between hers before looking away — Well, _need_ is a strong word. — she laughed softly while looking at the floor before shoving him lightly with her elbow. He laughed a little with her, she had realized that morning that she liked that sound — Let's say I'd... appreciate it.

There was something in the way he said it that made her shiver just a little bit. She wasn't sure what it was. Maybe it was the pause, the subtle implications, the low tone he used or his accent, probably a combination of the four, but it made her feel giddy and excited.

But there was something that was unsettling her. It wasn't her usual tension. It wasn't the typical 'I wish you would touch me' electricity, there was something more to all of it, because she wasn't supposed to feel giddy and excited, she wasn't supposed to blush, smile and giggle, but she did and there seemed to be no turning back. She had missed the feeling and liked it too much to give it up.

She tried to chase away those doubts and came back to the teasing game — Well, in that case I might just do it. — she smiled — I just need to- — she stopped halfway through her words the second the lights went out, jumping a little closer to him by reflex. She felt the palm of his hand turn towards her and rest on her forearm, it made her feel grounded as her eyes tried to adjust to the weak light that was left.

She saw a familiar figure walk to the computer before swinging a bat against it, Ian grabbed her a bit tighter when the smashing sound reached them — What the fuck? — he murmured as the figure moved to the camera — Should we- go? — he asked her as the person, who appeared to be Shirley, took a swing at the camera.

She nodded — Yeah, let's go. — quickly, he led her through the doors. He held her hand as they started running through the corridors, there was no reason to run or to hold hands but they did it anyway. They stopped running and started laughing at what had just happened as they reached his office.

— What the hell was that? — she laughed out as they entered the small room.

Ian shook his head as he closed the door and turned around to see her — I've got no idea. — he smiled and then laughed with her for a little while. He clasped his hands together and rubbed them before saying — So, how about that wine?

— Sure. — she nodded as she checked the time on her phone — I've got time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked, next chapter will be up around the 6th since I'll be busier than usual.  
> Thank you all for the patience and the love 
> 
> Lots of love  
> — Mai


	5. Intro To Modern Dances.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Ian enjoy some drinking and dancing on school grounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better two days late than never I guess.
> 
> Anyway, here's the chapter

— Oh, that must've hurt! — Ian laughed out at the screen and she laughed with him. He was right, those crappy bloopers and whatnot were funnier to watch when drunk. And that was what they were, drunk, soon to be shitfaced, and she couldn't have been happier about it. It felt like ages since she last got drunk and she missed the feeling of floating in a dizzy cloud were everything felt good as long as she was having a nice time.

They had already drunk one and a half bottles of wine when Ian suggested to change it for something stronger, he had chosen whisky but she opted for vodka, mixing it with stolen orange juice from the teacher's launch, only drinking it straight a couple of times. She shifted in her seat and reached to her backpack, which Abed had bothered to return to her once everyone left. They invited him to have a glass of wine with them but he declined, assuring he didn't drink. However, he did stood at the door for a couple of seconds, staring at them in an indecipherable silence before muttering "Cool. Cool, cool, cool" and leaving. It was a weird spot to get out of but the drinking helped.

Her backpack already on her lap she took her pack of cigarettes out but she stopped for a few second before lighting one up, slowly trying to decipher her own thought before asking — Do they have smoke detectors h're?

He looked at her briefly before going back to the computer, trying to find something new to see — I'd be very surprised if they did.

She shrugged, putting a cigarette between her lips — Alright then.

They kept watching video after video as they drunk and she smoked. They felt fine and in sync laughing at the same things and commenting on the same stuff, a drunken back and forward following it's own unscripted course, constantly being interrupted with snorts and laughs. Everything seemed to be alright until a fall video involving a bus reminded her of something, her drunken mind slowly making the connections until — Fuck. — she muttered.

Ian looked at her, his face still lightly cringing from the sting of the whisky he had just drank — What? — he asked. She shook her head, as she checked the time on her phone.

— I forgot about the bus. — she explained and looked at him, feeling just a little bit sober and concerned — I don't have a way to get home now.

He thought about it for half a second before uttering — I'll take you

She narrowed her eyes, trying to remind herself of her few drinking rules: 1) don't drive, 2) don't let mom see you drunk, 3) don't let other drunken people drive — No. I- I don't think that's a good idea.

He looked at her and nodded slowly, brow furrowed and eyes darting between his feet — Yeah... maybe not. — he leaned further back against his chair as if he was relaxing.

And, with the three drinking rules in mind she thought about going home and having her mother see her drunk, especially in a week night, she would freak. She didn't want to freak her out or have to deal with her freaking out, so she resolved — I don' wanna go home anyway, so- — she grabbed the vodka bottle and took a big swing at it — Screw it. Y'know?

He watched her as she took another sip of vodka and he nodded — Yeah, screw going home.

— Right. — she smiled at him as he finished his drink in one big swing. He closed his eyes tight for a moment before opening them and looking at her with a stupid and obnoxiously cute grin. They stayed in that drunken trance for a few moments before she interrupted it with an absentminded announcement — I want to dance. — he gave her a questioning look as she stood up.

She swiftly leaned forward to use the computer and left her body so close to his that he froze. Her body crossed above his, leaving her torso in front of him, her hips and waist only a couple of inches from his face, the skirt of her dress dangling over his lap, her bare tight brushing against his own and the hand he had resting there, skin against skin. And she hadn't even realized how bothered she had made him, she kept looking for a good song to dance to. He wanted to reach out, to move his fingers and caress her leg, maybe even go up. He really wanted to do it, he wanted to slowly trace his fingers through her inner thigh, he wanted to drive her mad with the uncertainty of his movements, to keep her on the edge as she waited for him to go up her dress and under her knickers, only to explore more there. Maybe have her stand in front of him, trying to stay still as his hand re-

His hand.

He opened his eyes and stopped his imagination the second he realized he was actually caressing her leg with the back of his index finger, he froze, his hand wasn't supposed to be doing that. He was scarred she had felt his finger caressing her leg. But she couldn't have, he assured himself, she was still standing there.

Little did he know that she was trying so hard not to react to the sudden lack of friction on her thigh, and for the most part she didn't. Lucky for her he couldn't see her frown, just like he couldn't see her biting her lip before that. She quickly put the song she had been looking for. No longer having a sweet touch to convince her to stay in that position, she stood straight and swayed her hips as she stepped back to the lower step. She extended her hand to him as she jumped a little — C'mon.

He shook his head slowly, embarrassed smile on his face and a light blush on his cheeks, as he muttered — Oh, no. — adding — I'm not drunk enough — with a low laugh.

— Okay then. — she reached to her bottle of vodka and offered it to him. He smiled and hesitated but said no. She stopped the small sway of her hips and gave him puppy eyes without even realizing — Please.

He couldn't really resist it, the humiliation of dancing was nothing compared to the view of her giving him that look and that pouting lip, asking him to drink and dance with her. He reluctantly grabbed the bottle and, after seeing her do a couple of small up-and-downs to celebrate, he took a big swing at it, almost immediately regretting it once the burning settled in. He stopped drinking it, let it sting for a few seconds and stood up, feeling a lot dizzier than before. She grabbed the bottle from him and took a couple of sips before he started dancing with her.

Alex was giving short jumps at the beat of the song and swinging her head ever so often, turning in place a couple of times or swinging her hips from left to right just to change it up. Ian however was awkwardly moving his arms near his torso, giving little wiggles and bumps with his shoulders while barely moving his feet. Alex had yet to see it, her eyes closed until she remembered he might would've wanted to drink some more vodka, so she opened her eyes and saw him mid dancing -if she dared to call it that- with his eyes closed. She tried to contain her laugh but she couldn't.

He opened his eyes at the sound and found her bending over her stomach laughing. He smiled, both confused yet amused, seeing her smile was nice — What? — she stood straight, still laughing, one hand over her mouth and the other one on her belly, she shook her head, unable to stop. He realized what she was laughing about and smiled. God he wanted to kiss that smile off her face at that very moment — Hey, you asked for this. — he reminded her, pretending to be offended.

She shook her head, barely stopping her laughter long enough to say — No. It's good.

He gave a short snort and said — I don't believe it, and the- — the what? — the... — Oh, screw it — And that you think I would, frankly, it's insulting. — she calmed down a bit, still giggling a bit.

— But it is! — she claimed and he gave her a funny look — It's just... it's funny! — she smiled and he gave her half back — It can be the two things. — she assured, nodding as if she was convincing herself. He looked at her doubtful. She rolled her eyes and got closer to nudge him with her elbow — C'mon, — she asked with a sweet voice and he had to hide a smile — peace?

He let his smile run loose and extended his hand — Truce. — she took his hand and shook it once but their hands didn't leave each other, they left them in that soft grip one had on the other that spread through them electricity and a soft calming current; both looking into the other's eyes, both tempting themselves with the idea of closing in the distance and maybe one of them would've, maybe he was right about to when the clearing of a throat by the door interrupted them. He let go of her hand and got away from her as if she was burning him as he turned around to see a janitor there.

— Hey, Jerry. — said Ian — We're preparing a, — he looked at the computer, the music still playing loud, and then at Alex and the vodka in her hand — a -uhm- a presentation.

The janitor looked at him with a face that simply read "Do you think I'm stupid?" Duncan gave him an smile, more apologetic than anything else — Mhm, sure. — he finally said while glancing at the bottles on the floor and the one on Alex's hand.

After a awkward silence Ian said — I thinks is ready. — he looked at her — We should- — he extended his hand and put it on her shoulder before quickly retreating it — we should go to my office and discuss it further.

She looked at him, then at the janitor, then back at him — Yeah, — she slowly hid the vodka bottle behind back — discuss the... the presentation. — she nodded, lying trough her teeth and terribly so.

— Yeah, exactly.

They both turned to see the Jerry and he rolled his eyes — Sure, whatever, just- have this cleared in five, ok? — he said and left, shaking his head and leaving his equipment at the door.

After a few seconds of silence Alex and Ian started laughing both in a drunken haze as they forgot to understand what was funny about that. She shushed him by putting her hand on his mouth when she heard the janitor walking near the door. Some of his giggles escaped through her hand as she looked at the door so focused, waiting to see if Jerry would show up again. When he didn't, she let go of Ian's face and said in a hushed voice — Okay, let's go.

She got to pick up her stuff and he did the same, amused with her secretive demeanor. They walked out of the room after turning off the computer and found that the janitor was still there.

She blushed before saying — Thanks, sorry for the bother. — as she tugged at Duncan's sleeve to make him walk with her.

They were both carrying a bottle each since they had left the empty ones back in his office and the juice one in the trash. He was carrying her shoes and backpack, she had almost forgotten them in the classroom.

He was looking at her dance around the hallway. Her movements strangely certain and spontaneous, like she already knew the steps but changed the order. She looked stunning to him. Hair flowing and falling on her face, hands and lags moving with grace as she spun through the corridor. She was wearing his vest on top of her cherry red dress, he had lend her the coat on their way from the office to the classroom when she got a little chilly, and hadn't dared to ask it back, even if he was a bit cold himself. He noted she was spinning a lot, he hoped she wouldn't fall but if she did he hoped he could catch her.

She noted him watching her as she danced but didn't say anything. She liked it, the way he would gaze at her. She would convince herself that she was exaggerating afterwards, that he was just looking at her, that it meant nothing. But when she was right under his gaze she could swear she felt some kind of love that came with his attention. She would feel this connection and would be unusually sure that he felt it too, and that it meant so much more that either of them were willing to admit. So she kept dancing and let him think he was the only one watching, since she wouldn't want to be the one to end it.

They made it to his office and she started to feel the sleep weighting on her eyelids, the excitement of being glanced upon by his eyes fading away as the tiredness of the day and the drinking creped over. Seeing her so tired he offered her to sit on the couch and she did, grabbing the fake skull from the table beside it and playing with it as she laid her head on a pillow, the world spinning around her, only Ian's voice grounding her. Soon enough, halfway into the explanation on why Jerry probably wouldn't rat them out on their campus intoxication, she fell asleep. He smiled at the view of her body curled up on itself on his office couch. The deep red skirt of her sundress clashing with the blue drawings on his couch and the dark gray of his vest. He put on some blankets on top of her and let the fake skull were it belonged before sitting down on his one person couch, settling down to sleep there. He was very much uncomfortable. His neck was crooked as he was trying to lay his side on the couch with his feet on the coffee table in front of him. He remembered had slept in more uncomfortable and unorthodox places, so this would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally wrote that dance scene to have Ian do the wiggling dance John does with Carlos Danger or when mocking "business daddy". Best quality: His wiggles
> 
> Anyway, thanks for the patience and the comments, kudos and whatnot.
> 
> Lots of love!  
> — Mai


	6. Urban Transportation 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex wakes up at Ian's office, hanged-over and with many texts and missed calls on her phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay but this one was a hard one to edit. I'm not sure why. Sadly, that means that the Halloween episode won't be uploaded on Halloween.
> 
> Also thank you to asailedsteamboat and their fic "i come back to the place you are" that inspired some of this chapter (and got me off a bit of a writer's block) and, as every other fic on Duncan, this fic as a whole 💕
> 
> Anyway, here it is. Ended up to be longer than I expected.

Ian woke up in what felt the blink of an eye. He was feeling everything but rested. He tried to go back to sleep but the couch wasn't half as comfortable sober, and it wasn't very comfortable when drunk. He laid there for a few seconds, looking at the side of his desk, before sitting up to face Alex who, he had almost forgotten, had slept the night there. He smiled at the sight of her face. She was beautiful and looked just right laying on his blue couch, wrapping an arm around her waist and griping his vest. How he had managed not to kiss her in the classroom was beyond himself.

He stood up and, fighting against his aching muscles, walked to his desk, grabbing an ibuprofen for each of them and leaving them on the desk. He grabbed the empty alcohol bottles and passed them through the window to leave them in the alleyway behind his office, trying to make as less noise a possible. He checked the time. He should probably wake Alex up, it was half past eight and she was likely to have a class to attend to. He did a quick run to the teacher's launch and got two cups of coffee, a lot of sugar and a bottle of water to take back to his office.

Alex woke up to the sound door closing and she cursed at the sunlight coming through the window, closing her eyes in an attempt to ease the headache — Good morning. — she heard a British accent chime and it took her a moment to remember she had slept in Professor Duncan's office. She got out of the light's way and opened her eyes, groaning at the symptoms of the hangover — Okay, it sounds like you need this, — she saw him drop a painkiller in front of her — this — a water bottle — and this. — a cup of coffee. She looked at him but he was already looking elsewhere, focusing on his cup of coffee, mixing in the sugar with one of those little sticks — Oh, and I also brought some sugar if you'd like. — she felt her heart do a little something. Maybe it skipped a beat or maybe it sighted at the thought of someone caring for her like that. It was so subtle, so tiny and so considerate. Painkillers, water and coffee for the hangover, a vest for the cold and a couch to crash on for the night.

Kindness was not something she thought he would excel at when she met him.

— Thank you. — she said, sincere.

He looked at her with a lopsided smile that brought up his right dimple — It's nothing. — he said and took a sip from his coffee.

Alex nodded, took the painkillers and drank all of the water before checking her phone seeing missed calls and texts from both her mom and her brother — Shit. — she skimmed through them, her eyes setting on a line of the last one, sent by her mother five minutes earlier “Also, you left you diorama here. Do you need it today?” — Fuck. I've got to go home. — she said, leaving the empty bottle in the table and looking for her backpack.

— Is everything alright? — she heard him ask as she grabbed her backpack and searched for her shoes. She saw them on the one person couch and went to grab them, calculating in the back of her head of how fast she would have to run to catch the bus.

As she put in her shoes she remembered she hadn't answer him — I- Yeah, I just forgot my diorama.

— Oh. — he said. He thought about it — I'll take you.

She stopped and looked at him — You don't have to. — she assured, suddenly weary of how kind he was being. She stood on both her feet and gave him a questioning look and, without thinking it twice, said — Did you do something that is making you feel guilty, or...?

He stopped for a moment — What? No. — he shook his head, chasing away the thoughts of what she might have thought he had done — I just thought- — he sighed it was a little early to try and explain himself but he tried anyway — Taking the bus is bad enough, no need to add a hangover and a diorama to it. — there was a short beat of silence before he added — And it was kind of my fault you didn't get home yesterday, I guess I may feel guilty about that. — he was pretty sure he didn't feel guilty about it but, if it made her feel better, he would say whatever she wanted him to say. She didn't say a thing. She seemed to be deep in thought. He left his coffee in his desk and took in a small breath before sincerely saying — Listen, I'm sorry if I was out of place or- or if I made you uncomfortable. I-

— No, no, you didn't. — she said, letting him have some of his peace back — It's just- — she gave out a soft sight with a sad grimace — nobody has been this kind to me for- well, a long time.

He gave her a sympathetic look — Well, there's nothing wrong with some suspicion.

She smiled — I guess not. — there was a pregnant silence were she looked at him as he grabbed his coffee again. She nodded to herself — I wouldn't mind it if you'd take me home. I mean, if the offer still stands.

He smiled and his dimples emerged on his cheeks — It still stands. — she was absolutely sure he looked as cute as it could be. His hair was messy and his tie undone, which reminded her she was wearing his vest. She thought of giving it back but she chose not to. Not yet. She could keep it just a little longer.

He pointed her to the door with his coffee cup and she hurried to open it, taking a moment to check all of her clothing being in place. She nodded to herself and opened the door, walking through it and waiting for him on the other side. He grabbed his keys from the top drawer and walked to her. He went back for a second, remembering to lock the office door, then returning right back to her. She looked at him expectant as he tried to remember where he had parked — That way. — he said pointing to her right. She nodded and they started walking to the parking lot.

She looked at him, he looked tired and messy but he didn't look like he hated life and everything about it. Which was weird because that was her default look whenever she was hang over.

— How are you fine? — she asked him. He looked at her, eyebrows slightly raised as he drank from his coffee.

He cleaned his mouth with the back of his hand and spoke — I'm used to drinking, I guess.

She was never that lucky. — So, you don't have a hang over? — she asked as they walked through the door to step into the campus yard. The sun was really had something against her today. She wished she had sunglasses.

— Oh, no, I do, but I didn't drink enough to get a bad one. — she made a face wondering how much was enough to give him a hangover — I do have wee bit of a headache, if it's of any consolation. — he said giving her a sweet and cheeky smile.

She smiled, just like he hoped she would, and shook her head to herself before looking at him — It's not.

He chucked a little at her honesty — Oh, Well. — he drank the last of his coffe and threw it in a garbage bin. Seeing his car in the car park ahead he got his keys from his pocket before saying — It was worth the shot.

She smiled after letting go a soft chuckle.

Soon enough they were in the road. She was guiding him to her place, knocking out the chance of sleep before class. How was she going to give that presentation was beyond her but she wasn't thinking about it, right then she was comforting herself on the fact that she might have to do it the next class instead. God, she hoped she would. Still, there was a more urgent matter at hand.

— Right here?

— Yeah. — she said, swallowing thick as the headache took a second place in her mind — Right here. — she nodded to herself, took a small breath and looked at him — Okay, you just stay here, keep the doors unlocked. — he nodded. She looked at her house and nodded, grabbing her backpack — I'll be right back.

She stepped out of the car and walked to her house, realizing how easy he had made it for her. He didn't push to help her and just did what she said. That was... nice.

She looked at the door, straightened her backpack, put her keys in and took in breath. She walked into the house and saw her mother and brother sitting on the table. God, this was going to be worse that she had imagined. They both looked at her.

— Ale! — her mother said both in surprise and relief but then her face turned more concerned — Where the hell were you?!

Alex froze. With my teacher. With a friend. At college. All true but she decided to go with the last — At college. — she took the momentary silence and went to her bedroom looking for the diorama.

— That's all you have to say for yourself?! — her brother said, chasing her through the small hall that lead to the bedrooms, their mother following shortly behind. She entered to her bedroom, trying really hard not to bat an eye at his self-righteous outrage — You disappear for the night and you were just "at college"! — he scoffed, stopping at her headroom door — Screw that. Where were you?

She took a deep breath, trying so hard not to snap back at him. God, she would've loved to bark back. To scream her head off in a shouting match against her brother, but she knew that would do no good so she just let the breath go softly and turned around — Not that it's any of your business but I was working on a project and lost the last bus back. I forgot to let mom know. — that last sentence made her cringe — God, am I seventeen years old or something? I have to let everyone know my every move? I'm sorry I have my own life. — she scoffed — I won't do it again. Promise. — she mocked before turning around to grab the cards and notes for the presentation and shoving them in her backpack. She felt a bit childish and wasn't sure if it was because of how they were treating her or how she was reacting. She moved to grab some underwear and another dress. She would take a shower after history on the joint PE and PEE locker-room.

— Oh, screw you! — Franco roared before taking a breath — I'm late for work. Bye, ma. — he said a bit more calmly, clearly not to Alex. She heard him leave and sighted, what a hard-ass.

— Ale. — she heard her mother call for her after a short silence. She turned around to see her.

Before she could say anything Alex spoke — I'm sorry, ma. I didn't mean to worry you, okay? I lost track of time and had to sleep there. — she sighted and started to walk away — I'm running late and need my diorama. — she hoped that was enough but her mother wouldn't give it a rest.

— Where did you sleep? And whose vest is that? — Alma asked and she felt like an idiot for not taking the vest off.

— At a friend's couch. And it's my friend's. — she brushed it off as she went to the office room, looking for her French revolution diorama.

— What friend? —she asked following her into the room.

She got her backpack nicely on her back, making sure nothing would fall out on her walk to the car — One from anthropology, ma. What does it matter? — she lifted the small Bastille diorama from the table, luckily it wasn't very heavy. She started walking out, her mother still following her.

— It matters to me! — she complained — Wait, did you drink?!

Alex stopped. She could've lied. She knew that. She could've lied and acted outraged as she stormed off but that would only start the same cycle over again. So she settled for — Ma, it's college, everybody drinks. — as she started walking to the door again.

Her mother sighted — Well, you're not everybody, Alex. — she didn't stop, walking to the door in a rushed fashion way before her mother stopped her — Alejandra, basta! — she stopped, letting the handle go — Mírame. — reluctantly, Alex turned around.

— Ma. — she sighted but her mother didn't let her finish.

— Amor, I need to know you're fine. — she looked calmly and paused, cautiously getting closer — Not just when you're out but all of the time. — she sighted — You worry me. I need to know you're not doing something... stupid, alright? — she explained, sighting as she prepared to say — Necesito saber que estás bien.

Alex felt a soft but ever present knot in her throat as she said — Ma, estoy bien. I swear. — she assured her — There's nothing to worry about. I'm not doing anything stupid. Well, maybe I am but not that kind of stupid. Okay?

— Alright. — her mom nodded, unsatisfied but letting it go — Just one more thing. — Alex nodded — Who's the guy in the car?

Alex felt a bit embarrassed — It's a friend, alright? Alright. Love you. Bye. — she rushed to get out, avoiding follow-up questions and getting to the car as fast as she could.

She sat in the front seat, looking straight ahead and Ian looked at her, trying to read her expression but all he could read was 'tired' — Is everything alright? — he decided to ask.

She closed her eyes for a second and nodded — Yeah, just fine. Ready?

— Sure.

She was falling asleep. She didn't mean to. Duncan wasn't talking much, focused on driving, and she was very tired. Beside there was something about him being near that made falling asleep easier. But by the time she was about to get some actual sleep he pulled up in the college's parking lot. She stretched as far as the car and the diorama allowed her to as he killed the engine, getting out of the car to help her with the diorama — Thank you. — she said when he took the model from her hands.

He waited for her to get out of the car and settle herself before giving the mock-up back. He noted she was still wearing his vest but he didn't say anything. Maybe because she would be cold, maybe because he liked how she looked in it.

— Really, Duncan, thank you. For all of this. It was very nice of you.

He nodded — Ian, please. — he said and smiled softly — It's nothing. I'm sorry you got in trouble for staying. I saw that guy leaving, — he said, hoping it wasn't obvious what he was trying to find out — he looked pissed off.

She shook her head with a smile, knowing what he was really asking — Oh, don't even worry about, my brother is a hard-ass. Gets angry about anything. — he smiled in triumph and a bit of relief. She noted it and nodded absentminded before remembering there was a place she was supposed to be — I should probably get going.

He nodded, remembering he had class, too — Yeah, me too.

— You're going that way? — she asked, pointing at her left, a bit hopeful to an idea she wasn't admitting to herself.

He shook his head no and pointed the opposite way — No, that way. — he gave her a bit of a sorry smile that she returned. There was beat if silence that he cut off with — Well. — she looked up and he froze for a moment.

He did an awkward wave as he started walking backwards. He was about to turn around when she promptly stepped towards him and said — Wait! — he stopped and walked a bit towards her, curiously watching as she turned around and left her diorama in the hood of his car and her backpack on the floor. He watched her take off his vest before turning around and walking to him. She extended it — Here.

— Thanks. — he said as he grabbed it. Without much thought he put it on, the neck of it getting shortly stuck on his nose, making her smile a bit. He slithered his hands on top of the fabric, getting rid of a few wrinkles on the way but fixing nothing more. He looked at her, her eyes showing this hope-like feeling that only her and her eyes could show.

She looked at him with a smile, knowing she probably looked ridiculous, too. Her hair was probably as messy as his, her dress as wrinkled as his shirt, her eyes just as tired and her smile just as stupid. The only thing he had that she didn't was a crooked tie. She looked at it, it was orange and had a blue pattern that matched the blue in his plaid shirt and somehow combined with it and didn't at all. Without much thought she put her hands on it.

Ian stiffened at the touch. He didn't say anything, he let her do it, getting a warm feeling at her proximity complemented by a small electricity that gave the brush of her fingers on his chest, even through all those layers of clothes. He was holding back his breath, waiting for her to finish what she was doing. He felt her delicate hands tighten the knot on his tie and contemplated the concentration on her face as she tried to leave it straight.

She stopped. Her work was done. Absentmindedly, she slithered her fingers down the fabric to get rid of wrinkles, stopping on the edge of the collar of his sweater bit not leaving it. Ian's mind went completely blank, not sure of what to think. Her face was relaxed, like if it was a usual thing to do. Alex froze, suddenly becoming deeply aware of what she was doing. She got her hand off of him as if he was burning her and kept her eyes on his tie. She blushed hard for a moment, unable to meet his gaze.

She took a breath and looked up at him, finding him looking at her in a state of wonder. He was speechless. His mind racing, wondering what was her intent, what was she thinking. Alex on the other hand was trying to brush her own actions off. She smiled with embarrassment and got her hand to grab her arm — Sorry, I- it was crooked.

— Oh. —he looked down at it and nodded a little — Thanks. — he looked back at her. Neither of them moved. They didn't want to move from each other now that they had been so close. He didn't mind to stay like that for as long as he could. To have her looking at him with that light blush on her cheeks, standing so close to him. But he saw in the corner of his eye Dean Pelton walking by so he stepped back — I'll see you in class, then? — he asked, slowly walking backwards.

— Yeah, — she nodded, still a bit embarrassed — see you in class. — he nodded with a smile and turned around to keep walking. She hid her face in her hands and grunted softly as soon as she was sure to be out of Duncan's earshot.

— Will they won't they, sexual tension.

— Holy fuck, Abed! — she nearly screamed, trying not to drop her mock up in the process. She took a breath to calm herself as he quietly apologized. She nodded and was about to say that it was alright but stopped, thinking — What did you say?

— Self reference. — he explained, barely.

— Nice. — she said, more as a question than a statement.

— A bit lazy. — he said — But, yeah.

— Alright. — she hesitated, smiling as one of her eyebrows slithered upwards, showing her amused yet confused. She let it go as they started walking towards their respective classes, which were one next to the other — How are you?

— I'm good. — he answered almost instantly. Keeping up with her fast pace with no problem — We're having a movie night with Troy tonight. — he let her know, waiting a second before following it up with — Do you wanna join?

— Sure, l'll bring snacks. — she nodded, giving herself a second before adding with a smile — And this diorama.

Cool. — he assured — Cool, cool, cool.

She checked her watch by instinct and realized — Shit, I'm late. — she cursed out and then looked at Abed seemingly neutral face as he looked at her, almost as if he was studying her face. She crooked her neck slightly and lifted an eyebrow as she was looking at him and he imitated the movements — Aren't you late? — she asked, sincerely interested.

—Yeah but, since we walk together every Thursday and you let me know when you're not coming, I waited for you. — she smiled and let out a little "aww", even if it felt a bit patronizing to do so. Abed was actually, genuinely cute some of the time.

— Thanks, Abed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case someone want the translation of the Spanish it's:  
> — Alejandra, stop it! Look at me. - I need to know you're fine/okay.  
> — Mom, I'm fine. I swear
> 
> It wasn't something that couldn't be picked up from context but I figured I might just translate it here.
> 
> Anyway, I hope I won't take so long with the next one.  
> I hope y'all liked this chapter, stay tuned for the next.
> 
> All the love  
> — Maitén


	7. Intro to Sport Journalism.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duncan finds Alex on a sports bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween! Sadly this isn't the Halloween Epidemiology episode like I wanted it to be because I changed up some thing and added three chapters before that one. Anyway this is a bit short but the next two will be a bit longer and, I hope, more entertaining.
> 
> Anyway, here it is. I hope y'all enjoy it.

She should have left by then. Her eyes glanced over the watch on her wrist. She should've already left. The game was over, the streets were getting dark and her head was starting to spin. Nevertheless she had already ordered a fifth bottle of beer. She sighted as she wondered how long would it take for that cute waitress to bring her drink. And, just as that thought crossed through her mind for a third time, the waitress showed up, dark glass bottle being placed in front of her and then second one.

— I don't mind an extra beer but I only ordered one.

— Oh, yeah. The man over there sent it. — she said, pointing at a guy who was looking at her from the distance.

— Oh, ok. Thanks.

The waitress left giving her a smile and a sly wink that made her blush a bit.

She looked at the beer and wondered, what was about a woman alone in a bar that made every other man think she needed company? She saw the man lift himself from his seat and say something to his friends at his table before walking towards her. She hated it. He seemed like an alright guy but she wasn't in the mood to get to know a stranger. Yet, no matter how much she wanted him to go back to his table, he sat down on the free stool next to her. He smiled. He had a nice smile.

— Hi.

— Hello. — she replied, begrudgingly accepted the hopefully short chat, telling herself it was something to do while she drank.

— So, what were you watching?

— What? — she inquired the alcohol in her brain slowing her ability to comprehend the question on the first try.

— Earlier you were watching something on the TV. — he explained, pointing at the TV that hang a few feet above them to his right — You seemed very stocked about it.

—Oh. Yeah. Right — she nodded, remembering why she was at that establishment in the first place — It was football. — she shook her head, remembering to correct the thing that had frequently led her to a small misunderstanding — Soccer. — and as she said that she remembered that it wouldn't be just a chat it would be a "get to know you" chat, and she was in no mood for one of those.

He raised an eyebrow, not sure of what he was expecting but knowing that wasn't it — Oh. — he said, looking rather interested, giving her an opening to talk a bit about it. There was a small silence as Alex decided to lead with some honesty — Look, — she took a breath, figuring out exactly what to say — you seem nice but I'm not really looking for anything tonight.

The brown haired man nodded but gave her a second glance, asking — Not even casual sex?

She hesitated for a second — No. — she didn't sounded convinced at her own words and he noted.

— You don't seem very sure about that. — he said, giving her a sly smile.

She chuckled a little, nodding before saying — You _are_ somewhat handsome.

He smiled, flattered — Thanks.

She continued — But I don't really want to right now.

— Alright. I'll take it. — he said, raising his hands from the table and keeping them up by his chest for a moment — It's all good. — he said, walking backwards and turning around. He stopped for a moment and turned back around, walking back to her — Do you mind if I give you my number? — he rubbed his neck and seemed to shrink down a little — Just in case you _do_ want to some time and I'm still as handsome.

Alex smiled, shrugging ever so slightly as she nodded — Yeah. Sure. — she reached for her phone in her back pocket and gave it to him.

  
She waited as he put the digits and name into her contacts and smiled as he gave her the phone back — I'm Kyle, by the way

— Alex.

He smiled and lingered for a moment on the silence and look they were sharing — I guess I'll see you when I see you. — she nodded, strangely charmed by how he was stumbling and fumbling with his words. She noted him unsatisfied with his exit line but she had liked it.

Alex smiled to herself and returned to her beer. She looked over at the second bottle, she shouldn't drink that, especially since she was alone and had to take a cab home. Maybe she should return it, have it sent back to the guy or something. But she didn't. She let it sit there as she drank the first beer, it was like she had already made up her mind about it. She was going to drink it, even if it made everything a bit worse later, because she would feel a little less at first.

— Alex?

Her eyes looked slightly up, meeting the familiar face of the familiar voice.

— Duncan. — she was a bit shocked but relieved that it was him and not anyone else.

— Fancy seeing you here.

He smiled and she smiled back, it was obvious he had just entered the bar, his red jacket still hung on his shoulders and he didn't have any drinks with him — Yeah. — she took a look at him. She was rather keen on this look. Red football shirt, red sport jacket, black jeans and wind-ruffled hair. She figured it was the first time she had seen him in something other than a buttoned up and an mismatched sweater-tie combo — Hi. — she smiled, still adjusting to the idea of having him there — How are you?

She was glad it wasn't as awkward as she thought it would be after the incident on the parking lot. She had seen him after that on the anthropology class and it hadn't been awkward then either but she figured it was because they had something to talk about -Abed's religious rap video. She hoped something similar would happen then. She hoped a nice banter topic would fall into their laps just like that.

— Quite alright. — he answered, a slightly cheerful tone flattering his voice — How about you?

She looked down at her bottle, her thumb outlining the side of its neck from side to side — Fine. A bit bored. — she looked up, taking her beer with her — What are you doing here? — she asked before taking a sip.

— Came to watch the game and drink. — he simply stated, as if to say "a typical Friday night plan" — My TV broke last week so I had no place to watch it.

— What game?

— Liverpool. — he did a subtle double take and asked — Isn't that why you're here?

She gave him a confused look and he pointed down to her clothes. She looked at her red and white football shirt and understood where he was coming from — Oh, no. — she softly smiled — This isn't Liverpool. It's River.

— Alright. — he nodded. A few seconds of disorientation passed by in silence before he asked — And that is?

— Argentinean football.

— Really? Why?

She gave herself a moment — It's my family's team, I guess? — she explained, hand reaching for her beer bottle a she continued — My mom's my dad's my brother's, even most of my grandparents

— I get it. — he assured, smiling at the likelihood of their upbringing — Any other team was out of the question.

— Yeah, exactly. — she saw him standing next to the table and felt a bit awkward that he was standing and she was sitting down. Luckily the height difference wasn't so large since she was sitting in a stool instead of a common chair — Do you want to sit down? — she resolved, gesturing at the free stool — I've got this extra beer.

— Yeah, sure. — he tried not to grin at the thought that the guy who bought her that beer was almost instantly asked to go away while he was getting the beer and the seat. Even if she had given him her number, Ian already had it and that let him rest assured he held a little bit of an advantage over that guy — Thanks. — he took a sip from the beverage and turned to her — So what are you doing here? Assuming your telly works just fine.

— Yeah it does. — she smiled and then pondered on what to answer — I was just — she wavered on what to say — getting away, I guess. — she looked at the beer between her hands for a moment — Trying to watch the game and drink a couple of beers without being told I'm relapsing. — she lifted the beer towards her mouth as Ian nodded but stopped before taking a sip, taking a second just to say — Which I probably am, but I don't want to be told that.

— I know the feeling. — he said, raising his own beer as if he was to make a toast — Cheers to that.

They clicked the bottom of their bottles and drunk down some beer. She looked at the screen above them and noted — You probably need to change the channel if you wanna see the game.

— Yeah. Right.

He stood up and reached the TV to change the channel, with much less effort than she had to put about an hour earlier, and sat back down again.

— So, who is Liverpool playing against?

— Arsenal

She took a sip of beer — Big game?

— A bit. — he answered and looked back at her seeing the game wouldn't start until a couple more minutes — What about River? Big game?

— Nah, it was a friendly game. — she looked away from his eyes, catching a not-too-short of a glance of his hands on the beer bottle. His finger seemed so long and held the bottle with a feather-like grip — I'm surprised there was a channel that had it on. — she said, almost absentmindedly, eyes still on his lanky yet gracious fingers. She shook her head slightly, trying not to focus on him or any of his body parts and took another swing at her beer. She might have thought it was time to go home but since he was there she had a reason to stay and another game to see.

And they kept talking about Liverpool's good season and the League's tournament until the game started. And as they watched they had a few more drinks, about forty five minutes worth of drinking and watching the game, that were promptly followed by drinking and talking during the halftime — It's nice, — he said — having someone to watch the game with. — he clarified and decided to drink some more to ease down the nerves that still lingered under his skin and spiked up a bit whenever they would share a glance.

— Yeah, it's nice. — she nodded — It's a shame you have to watch all these games alone.

— Well, you do too.

— I don't. — she said, sounding almost defensive. She stopped and cooled down, not meaning to come off that strongly — I didn't. — she corrected, not really wanting to get into it — My family and I used to watch all the games together.

He raised an eyebrow as she looked away to have a drink — What happened?

— Well, that's an easy one. — she assured, sounding a bit bitter but not towards him — The tradition fell away when my dad died.

— Oh. I'm sorry.

— It's alright, we still get together for the big games though. — she tried to brush it off but he didn't let her, looking at her until she gave in, giving him half a sad smile and a sincere — Thanks.

She stayed a bit too quiet for his taste after that, he could see her thinking, processing something in her head as she drank a bit more heavily than before.

— I get it. — he said, trying to get her out of her own head.

She looked up at him, drink still in hand — Yeah?

— Not entirely. — he clarified — I mean my dad isn't dead -I think-, just absentee. — he said in an offhand comment — But my grandparents are, and they basically raised me.

She gave him a sad smile as he drank down his beer —I'm sorry about that, then. — she said, sincerely.

He looked at her with a easy smile — Thank you.

They lingered on each other's eyes for a moment, calmed with no rush to move on to a new subject. At least until a drunken thought lingered on Alex's mind, a thought that whispered _"kiss him"_ , and it made her break their shared gaze. She straightened up and quickly finished the last bit of her beer before asking him — Should we get another round?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole... lets call it story line, came to mind as i posted last chapter. I was so stuck and I didn't know what to do, now I'm kinda stuck at another part but, well, that's how I write: I get stuck, miraculously unstuck rinse and repeat.
> 
> Anyhow, I hope y'all liked it. Stay tuned for next one.
> 
> All the love  
> — Maitén


	8. Seminary On The Effects Of Alcohol On The Psyche.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the game Alex and Ian decide where to go next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a busy week so I absolutely forgot to post this. Anyway, here it is. A bit short but next chapter will be longer.

By the time the second half of the game started she was almost drunk and very tired, holding her head up by laying it into her hand and paying no attention to the game, only the things Ian shouted at the referee. Things like — Bite my banger! — or — Go fuck yourself. — which she would reply in her head with _“I would do nicer things than that to your banger_ ” and _“Fuck me yourself”_ only to giggle about it to herself. And he would smile at her. Unaware of what she was giggling about but glad she was doing it.

She slowly lowered her hand and head to the table, mumbling she was going to rest her eyes. His soft, drunken laughter filled her ears and made her laugh too. She was even drunker than he was and it made her feel alright to give up control like that. It was easy being drunk. It felt like floating yet not being able to fly. It was confusing state, feeling both great and awful, liberated and trapped.

She tried to rest but grew more uncomfortable by the second. The feeling of floating fading. The room seemed to be spinning, the air was humid and too warm for her taste, her cheeks were almost burning and no matter how cold the table was it didn't seemed to help. The noise of men cheering and laughing made her groan. She didn't want to be there. She didn't wanted to go home but she didn't wanted to be there more. And, just as if he was reading her mind, Duncan asked — Do you want to go? — she nodded frowning a little bit in a sad manner, like a sleepy toddler after waking up. He smiled — Alright.

She opened her eyes ever so slightly, seeing his left hand about a dozen inches away from her face. She focused on it. Her tired eyes traced through his long fingers down to the palm and back up, hypnotized by the movement of his hand as he tapped his fingertips rhythmically on the table. She looked up to his face. He was looking away, looking for a waiter to bring him the check. She wondered something. She couldn't quite put it into words.

Her head still against the wooden table, she felt her phone buzz repeatedly. She lifted her head from the table, seeing it vibrate on top of it. She picked it up and saw her mother's name on the screen. Alex hesitated but sent her to voicemail anyway once again in the evening. She exhaled. She knew that an almost endless stream of messages would follow, and it did.

She sighted at the first text _“Why aren't you answering my calls. You were supposed to be here an hour ago. Where are you?”_ Her mother was right. We're was she? In a bar, almost past midnight, after drinking who-knows how many beers with her professor "You're a piece of shit" she thought to herself _"Instead of staying home and keeping mom accompanied you're sitting on a bar drinking."_ She felt her throat tighten and her heart ache. How could she be so selfish, so shitty, so wasteful of herself. After everything? Piece of shit. She was supposed to be fine, she was supposed to be good. But she didn't deserve to be good. She deserved nothing, she was sure of it. She frowned at her own painful thoughts and felt something in her chest sink in pain. Her breathing became heavy but more agitated by the seconfd, only then noting her own tearful eyes.

— Hey. — Ian said. His quiet and concerned voice interrupting her torturous thoughts. Getting her out of her own head. His hand landed over her right shoulder and gave it a light press, trying to comfort her — What's wrong?

She shook her head slightly and covered her face with her hands — I'm sorry. — she lamented, voice trembling with anguish as she tried to dry her watery eyes — I'm okay. — she promised, getting her hands off her face, nodding as she tried to calm herself down — I'm okay. — she assured, mostly to herself.

— It's alright. — he tried to get her to look at him but she would avoid his gaze, trying to hide her tearstained cheeks from him — You can tell me. — he tried to sound sincere and sober, even if he wasn't the latter.

She shook her head, distraught and a little embarrassed — It's alright. I'm drunk. It's nothing. — she dismissed it, eyes fixed on anything but his face.

— So which one is it?

She gave out a failed, confused smile, finally looking at him. Her gaze melting right into his kind brown eyes that somehow brought her an soft tranquility — What? — she asked,

— Is it alright, is it you being drunk or is it nothing?

— It's all three. — she said, genuine yet small smile on her face. Voice trembling yet amused.

— You're sure? — her breath laid heavy on her lungs. She nodded, not feeling like talking anymore. He nodded, too, unconvinced but unwilling to push her for more information.

A waiter brought them their check and Alex reached for her wallet but he stopped her — I've got it. You can invite the next time if you want. — she tried to oppose but he assured it was fine so she settled for leaving a generous tip. As the waiter brought back the change she answered her mother's message _"Sorry, I can't talk. Movie night with Abed. I'm sleeping here tonight"_ She took long enough for Ian to have his jacket back on and be ready to go. They slowly walked outside. Alex laid on Ian's arm with her head on the upper part of it -she couldn't reach his shoulder- to steady herself and please her tiredness with some comfort. Luckily Duncan didn't seemed to mind.

They stepped outside and the chilly air made her shiver a little bit and made her lean further against him to keep warm. The car wasn't far away, at least it didn't seemed far away to her. She felt cold the moment he let her go to get into the car. Alex waited as he opened the car door for her from inside the car.

She sat down on the co-pilot seat, feeling a little bit more sober than before, but still feeling dizzy — Where to? — he asked, the engine turned off and his hands laying on his legs.

— I don't know. — she said, looking at him way more tired now that she was in a quiet place that she knew — I don't wanna go home.

— We can go to another bar. — he put the keys in and shrugged as he turned the car on — Or the school. But I wouldn't go there. There are AA meetings on the weekends. They are a bummer.

She looked at him, he was clearly drunk — You shouldn't drive. — she warned. Bad memories cursing in flashes through her head. She didn't let herself think of them, trying really hard to focus on the present.

— It'll be alright.

She shook her head heart raising with fear — No driving. — she demanded. He looked at her and the pleading look she was wearing — Please.

— Alright. — he said, letting go of the wheel and killing the engine — What then?

They were looking at each other, both of them drunk and tired. She laid her side into the seat and he did the same. Their eyes still sharing an intimate look, a universe of their own — I don't know. — she almost whispered, a bit afraid of not knowing what to do or where to go. She didn't mind staying there, looking at him. She could do that, stay, just for a little while more.

Ian saw the way she was looking at him. A way that made him feel anticipation for something unknown. A way that made him yearn for more of her. But he dismissed it as her being drunk and sad, and maybe lonely. He knew all those feelings all too well. He knew if she were any other girl he would ask her to go to his place, just so he could fix her one last drink and kiss her right after. All to have meaningless, regrettable, drunken sex and have her leave before sunrise. But he didn't want to do that. Not with her. He wanted to take her home that night to know she would get through the night safe. And have the reward of seeing how lovely she'd look in the morning. He wanted to kiss her, sure, but not if it meant having her leave without saying goodbye. But he was still drunk, and the way her eyes looked into his clouded his better judgment — We can call a cab, go back to my place.

She smiled and his eyes roamed through it, seeing how the right side of her smile was always a bit more prominent and how the corner of her lips wrinkled a bit when they met with her cheeks. Her smile slowly relaxed but stayed a smile — Yeah?

— Yeah.

Her eyes lingered on his face. Was he offering a place to sleep or was it something more? No matter what it was, she wanted it.

— Alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dare I say cliffhanger? Hope y'all liked it, next one will be posted around the 20th so, stay tuned.


	9. Intro to Psychology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex find herself on Duncan's apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a longer chapter to make up for the long wait and brevity of the last one. Also, a make up in advance because next one will take a bit longer than usual, I can feel it.  
> Well, here it is!

The first thing that her eyes met as she entered the apartment was the white eggshell color of the walls. It seemed to have come with the apartment since it matched the wall of the hall. She took her coat off, already warmed up — Let me get that. — Ian offered and she gave the coat to him, thanking him as he hanged it on the coat rack. She stood still and let him walk through first, inhibitions already back up after sobering up a little bit on the cab ride. It felt like she shouldn't be there, which was probably true. It was two am on a Saturday and she was still fairly drunk, standing just past the entrance of her professor's house.

She followed him into the living-room, her eyes roaming through the large room. First thing that came into view was the kitchen island that separated the two spaces. It was clean and it was made out if a dark material that gave the apartment a more bachelor's pad kind of style. It didn't entirely matched with the rest of the furniture, which was rather old and a bit uncoordinated in style. As she walked further in, she noted that there were a few thing that matched, like the worktop and the wine cooler that laid on top of the liquor cabinet on the other side of the room, or the tv's table and the small but old piano opposite to it, sadly the couch and coffee table didn't matched but where unceremoniously held together by the black and grey rug that kept them from touching the dark wood-like tile floor.

— Do you need anything? — he asked from the other side of the kitchen island. She looked at him, he seemed much more relaxed than in the cab — Water? Food?

— Water, please.

She thought back to the cab. The minute they got in he started looking so anxious and stiff, they had barely talked, he clearly seemed to have something on his mind. But right then, he seemed alright, even if just a bit distant.

— Thanks. — she said, taking the water bottle he was handing her. She drank some of it and Ian grabbed one for himself as she did.

He wasn't looking at her anymore, not like on his car. He seemed distant, even if he was being nice. The way he kept his distance and looked away whenever they would share a look, like if her eyes burned on his, she couldn't help but to feel disappointed. The moment he invited her she was sure they were both sharing the same idea, even if they wouldn't say it. But maybe she had misunderstood his intentions. Maybe he was just being nice and offering her a place to stay the night. Still, the memory of his eyes roaming across her body in the bar and her face all through the night begged to differ.

She thought whether to take the defeat or just try and make a move but reached no conclusion by the time her phone started ringing. She answered, a bit confused — Abed?

— Hey. Your mom just texted me to check, and I quote, "if she's really there right now". Which you aren't; so I'm assuming you're lying. — in spite of the time and the fact that he was probably sleeping he sounded as rushed and stoic as he always did.

— Yeah, sorry. — she apologized, starting to aimlessly walk around the room, looking mostly at her feet — You didn't tell her I'm not there, right? — she asked, suddenly concerned by the idea of being caught.

— No, don't worry. — he assured — I figured I'd call you first, unlike last time.

— Thank you. — she sighted relived. Slowly some shame washed over her as she asked — Just lie for me, please?

— Sure. But, where are you?

She hesitated, balancing from one foot to the other. She breathed out. What wrong could it do? — I'm at Duncan's.

— Nice. — he whispered to her surprise. She furrowed, mouthing a "what?" but not interrupting him — Remember to ask him about his life, maybe get to share some trauma, that will forward the romantic plot exponentially.

She chuckled — Alright. I'll do that, Abed. Bye.

— Bye. — she hung up, shaking her head at his antics. Trying not to linger too much on the idea of a romantic plot, hardly managing not to.

— Do you need a change of clothes? — he asked after a short hush. She turned to him, finally moving away from the thought Abed had introduced to her drunken self. He was finally sharing her gaze, his eyes a bit kinder, showing care, understanding and some yearning. Or maybe it was her projecting onto his eyes

— Yeah, that would be great.

— I'll be back in a jiffy. — and left her alone on the living room. Her eyes lingered on the door he had gone through for a bit until she forced herself to look away.

She looked around and moved towards the bookshelf that was standing on the right of the three person couch. She looked through the books, most of them being academics books on psychology, very few on moral philosophy, and a fair amount of novels, both classical and lesser known ones. She wondered if he had read them all. Probably not, especially the non academic ones. She read through the name of every book on the second shelf, they were ordered alphabetically and by subject but were dusty enough for her to leave a print with her finger every time she touched one. She crooked her neck as she read the title of a green covered book that caught her eye, it read "Introduction To Human Psychology. Ian Duncan. First edition." She took it out of the bookcase and opened it to skim through it. He had written a book, quite a long academic one. That was fairly surprising and quite the accomplishment. She stopped at a random page and read _“When certain events, feelings, or yearnings cause an individual anxiety, the individual wishes to reduce that anxiety. To do that, the individual’s unconscious mind uses ego defense mechanisms, unconscious protective behaviors that aim to reduce anxiety. The ego, usually conscious, resorts to unconscious strivings to protect the ego from being overwhelmed by anxiety. When we use defense mechanisms, we are unaware that we are using them. Further, they operate in various ways that distort reality.”_ That stroke her curiosity, how could someone not realize that they were doing that?

— Alex. — she turned around at the voice of her professor and felt a light blush grace her cheeks when his eyes found his book in her hands.

— So, you wrote a book. — she said, feeling rather skittish under his gaze.

He smiled — Yeah, barely.

— Barely?

— I mean, it's an introduction book. Anyone can do that.

She gave him a playful look and closed the book — I can't. — she said and put it back in its place. Before he could say anything back she asked — How long did it take you to write it?

— I don't know. About a year and a half, I think. — she didn't ask anything else. Her back turned to him as she kept looking through the books. He took a moment to look at her. She was standing with one leg taking most of the weight and the other one crossing behind it. Her hair passing by her shoulders with ease, curls falling right below her shoulders, hands delicately touching his books, making them worth four times their initial price in his mind. The shirt she was wearing was a bit too big for her, it probably wasn't hers. Unlike her jean that hugged her every curve, her shirt hanged loosely on her body, it made her look smaller than she was. He wondered if his shirt would look the same on her, if it would make her look even smaller or if it would hug her just a bit better, if it would carry her smell afterwards. Then he remembered, he had the clothes for her to borrow. As if on cue, she turned around and he extended the shirt and a football shorts — The bathroom's there if you want to change.

She took the clothes from him and looked towards the door he was pointing at — Thanks. — she chimed before walking past him towards the bathroom.

If she was being honest with herself she felt bummed out that he hadn't made a move on her. He wasn't even stealing glances of her like he did every other day. It made her sad. She would always try to convince herself that those glances meant nothing, but given how she felt when they were gone meant that she was wrong. They meant something, at least to her.

Her still hazy brain made her eyes hurt when she turned on the lights of the bathroom. White walls made it even harder to bare the bright lights as it reflected them around the room. She changed into his clothes without thinking much of it until she looked in the mirror. She was at his professor's house, in his bathroom, wearing his clothes, that smelled like him and his lavender soap. The shirt was soft and it hanged loosely on her shoulders while the short had a more synthetic softness to it and the elastic on the waistband made it stay in place even if it fitted her a bit loose. She hesitated but ended up taking off her bra, thinking of wanting to sleep comfortably that night.

She checked her face in the mirror. Slightly smudged make up, sleepy and bloodshot eyes, regular imperfections on her skin, the way her nose grew wider at the bottom and how her hair looked a bit frizzy at that moment made her grunt. Her self-esteem, deflated by the lack of advances on Ian's side, and alcohol that was faltering in her brain made her exaggerate every single one of those perceived flaws. She stood up straight and looked down to her body, starting to lift her shirt to see her body underneath it. She stopped, knowing she would get too in her own head about her appearance and what she hated about her body and face, knowing that would make her too self-conscious about her body to behave normally. She stepped out of the bathroom, her clothes in hand, and saw Duncan leaving some blankets on top of the couch.

— Thank you for the change of clothes.

— You're welcomed. — he said, almost having to tear his eyes away from her body and stay on her face. Something about her wearing his clothes would have driven him insane if he would stop to really think about it. Which he would surely do the night after — You can leave yours by the piano. — they both turned to it and saw an empty bottle of rum and another half empty of scotch — Or in the bathroom, if you prefer. — she smiled and turned to the first option. Trying not to watch her walk away he turned towards the kitchen's pantry — Do you want some cheese and crackers?

— Sure. — he heard her say before hearing a few consecutive notes being played after a brief silence. He turned to take the small plate with the three different types of cheese and some saltines to the table and saw her step away from the piano and look a — I'm guessing this isn't decorative and you actually play, right?

He left the plate on the table and looked up to her. He still wasn't over the way that she looked in her shirt, if he'd ever be — Yeah, I play. — he managed to say without having his voice get two eights higher.

— Can I have some evidence to back that claim? — she asked, playful smile on her lips and a pleading look in her eyes. He reluctantly nodded and moved towards the piano.

He sat in front of the spinet piano and started playing slowly. She looked at his fingers roam through the keys. He did had good hands for playing the piano, she noted. His skinny, long and graceful fingers roamed on top the piano, cursing through the keys without much trouble, playing a quiet and somber melody. It reminded her of home, even if no one in her house ever played the piano.

— Where did you learned?

— The man who owned the pub where my mother worked taught me some. Mostly songs for me to play when it wasn't too crowded. — he spoke, letting his rhythm fault a little as he focused on the conversation, yet, he still played, like if it was second nature. She saw the space that was left on the chair he was sitting in and tempted herself with the thought of sitting on it, so close next to him. But she decided against it, choosing to lean against the wall next to the piano, to Ian's left, looking at him as he played — Then, when I came here, my grandparents made me take classes. So, I know a bit more now.

— For how long was that?

— Up until uni. — he said, his eyes going from her face to the keys as he spoke. They stayed silent for a few seconds, feeling comfortable with the music coursing thought the air, both listening as Ian played that delicate song.

It was a solemn song. It played slowly and quietly, the ambient feeling more somber as he played. Until a higher pitched noted broke the gloom. The next few dozen seconds, the song felt like the struggle of happiness trying to thrive in the middle of sadness. They both seemed to fight each other in it and it seemed like sadness wouldn't fade, but neither did the cheerfulness of the higher pitch, even if it did quiet down sometime. Was that how he felt? Because it felt really close to what she usually felt, too. She understood, at least she hoped she did. The happy undertone in the sadness of it all. As the song continued so did her thoughts, only those were drifting away.

— Do you miss it? — she asked, seemingly out of the blue.

He curiously looked at her and genuinely asked — What?

— Home. England.

— No. — he hesitated — Yes? A bit. — Ian stopped playing pace by pace a little less until he stopped. He slowly turned to her and she looked at him, he was staring at the floor. Had she asked the wrong question? She wondered up until the moment he looked at her — I'm not sure. — he concluded — I was a child when I was there and it wasn't bad, I remember it fondly. My cousins, my house, the little place where I used to play football with my friends. — he said as he remembered. A nostalgic smile graced his lips but faded a bit after, leaving Alex to long for those dimples that looked so cute on him — But now, whenever I go back it's just... empty. A few of my cousins are still there, my mom. — he shook his head, giving her a bittersweet smile, meeting her eyes instead of his memories — It just isn't the same. And this is home now. I been here for- well, quite a long time, so I don't really miss it like that. — she nodded and looked away, trying to get her head to think straight — Why do you ask?

— I don't know. — she murmured, looking at him and shrugging. Ian didn't say a thing, looking at her for her next words, no rush in his gaze. She stood up and without even thinking it she said — I guess I think my mom misses her home. — she said as she walked to the other side of the couch and sat down. She listened at herself carefully, almost as a spectator to her own words — so I was just wondering how that feels like. I figured you'd knew.

He nodded, standing up from the piano, and walking towards the couch — I can only speak for myself but, it feels like being in a place where you don't know anybody and you want to go back home, to what you know. — she nodded intrigued by his words, he had already sat down almost on the other side of the couch, but it wasn't a big couch — But then you get settled, meet people and start to have a good time so you don't miss it as often or as much.

— That must suck.

— It goes away with time. — he shrugged — Like everything else.

— I don't think that's true. — she doubted — Fear, pain, they don't always go away

He gave her a bittersweet smile — Well, they do, eventually. They're supposed to. — he watched how her thumb cursed back a forward through the same part of her forearm. She seemed to be soothing herself with that. He looked back at her face, trying to sound as comforting as he could — If it doesn't go away as fast as it should is because we don't let it.

He sounded so sweet. It almost shocked her that that was the same man who was shouting at a referee to bite his banger an hour or so earlier. His voice was so shooting right then, so low and somehow both sweet and raspy — Yeah? — she asked, slightly arching both her eyebrows upward. He looked at her like she'd always craved to be looked at. His eyes roaming trough her face and trying not to linger too long on her lips.

A big part of her wanted to kiss him right there but some other part stopped her because, even if she wouldn't admit it to herself, she knew it wouldn't be just physical. It had gone past just physical about three drinking nights before. But even if she wasn't ready to have those types of feeling for him, she had them. And she tried so hard to push them down, to negate and ignore them. And so far she had been good at it, for the most part, being able to just focus on the want rather than the yearning. So she leaned away a little bit, breaking both of them out of their short trance.

He pressed his lips into each other and nodded — I think so. Nothing is stationary.

— Isn't that sad? — she said, leaning further back into the couch and looking at the ceiling — That, no matter what you do, everything's gotta change. — she sounded almost angry at it. Annoyed and frustrated, she sighted and continued — That you can't live the same thing twice and every moment is gone the second you live it.

— I guess it is, innit? — she looked back at him, longing for a little more. He continued — But it makes you appreciate every moment a bit more and all that bullshit, right?

She laughed softly at the bluntness and nodded, smile on her face as she huffed out a sweet — Yeah.

After a few hours of talking, and a few minutes of half asleep, half drunken rambling from both of them, they fell asleep on the couch. Ian was the last to do so, his eyelashes fluttered over his tired eyes as they kept looking at her, her sweet face and how relaxed she looked. He lamented he hadn't kissed her but knew it was for the best. She was drunk and had cried and even talked about his dead father for a bit. She was vulnerable and he didn't feel right taking advantage of that, nor did he wanted to be her big drunken mistake. And he was sure she was looking for nothing more than a one night thing or a more casual just sex type of thing, but he couldn't do that, not with her at least. He figured she didn't want a romantic relationship with him, so he convinced himself to settle for the next great thing, her friendship.

He was the first one to wake up. He saw her sleeping right in front of him, her head laid on the back of the couch, her whole body leaning against it and hugging the big pillow in front of her. He smiled. For the first time in over five years the first thing he did in the morning was smile. Unlike any other morning, he stood up and went to the kitchen to get some breakfasts ready even if it was probably nearer to lunch time than breakfast. He put the kettle on as he wondered what they could eat.

— Good morning. — Alex's voice made him turn around and inadvertently smile.

— Hi. I'm sorry, did I wake you?

She yawned a little and then gave him a soft smile. He had woke her up but she didn't mind, luckily her head wasn't hurting all that much that day — It's alright. — she stretched her back, she hadn't slept in the best position but she could handle the discomfort on her neck.

He saw her go towards him in the kitchen and asked — Tea or coffee?

—Tea, thanks. — she smiled and took a seat at the breakfast table — What are we having?

— I have no idea. — she smiled and he did, too.

An idea came to her mind — I can do pancakes. — she offered — As a thank you for letting me stay the night.

— I don't think I have what you need.

— I can do them Argentinan style. It's so much easier. And better. — he chuckled at the final clarification — You got flour?

He checked the pantry and grabbed the flour — Surprisingly so. — he checked the expiration date — And it isn't even expired.

— Great. — she smiled — Cooking oil?

— Yeah. — he grabbed it from the top cupboard, leaving it next to the flour.

— Milk? — he hummed in affirmation and went to the fridge to grab it — Two eggs? — he nodded as he took those and the milk out of the fridge and put them the in the counter — And margarine?

He checked the fridge and shook his head — Sorry, I don't have that.

— Butter?

— That I do. — he said, getting it out of the fridge.

—Ok, then. — she stood up — Prepare yourself to eat the best pancakes of _at least_ this week.

He chuckled and gave her the space to work, finding the stuff she needed to cook and making the tea as she prepared the Argentinean style pancakes. He was a bit distracted by how cute she looked when she was cooking, how she seemed so comfortable to be cooking at his place, wearing his clothes and using his slippers that he had insisted she wear so she wouldn't get a cold.

Only when she was done and they were both seating on the breakfast table did he realized — They look like the ones we ate back in England. — he said, pleasantly surprised.

— Really?

— Yeah. I always had them for my birthday.

She smiled — Well, happy birthday then. — he smiled back, dimples melting her for a moment — I'm not sure if they're all the same thought. Try them.

He grabbed one and saw she had put only jam and sugar on the table, so he went to the fridge to grab a lemon. Alex watched with curiosity as he got his pancake ready — Sugar and lemon? — he looked at her, nodding confused as it was obvious for him — It should be just sugar, you weirdo. — she teased.

— You're kidding, right? Lemon and sugar it's the best way to eat them.

She teased, hesitated and ended up trying them. Just as he tried them with just sugar — It's not bad. — she said. They both liked the new style but preferred to keep it the way they were familiar with.

When they were done with the food they went to get Ian's car from the bar. She had to return his clothes and put hers back on. She found herself missing their warmth and soft smell of him they carried.

Once they both entered the car they realized he had to take her back to her place. Both of them were tempted to stretch the meeting longer. Maybe get some actual lunch, some coffee, maybe ice cream. Both of them decided against it, knowing there wasn't any excuse to keep it going. And that was what she always needed, an excuse. Being drunk, needing a ride. Anything to delay facing her feelings, anything not to admit that she actually liked being with him.

He looked over to her as he drove. He had given her a ride enough times to know the road there so she was just humming along to the music of the radio. What would he do after she was gone? It was an odd question but it was the only question his mind would articulate. What would he do? Probably drink, maybe practice some piano. Probably just drink. So he focused on how she murmured some of the lyrics and smile at how she would change stations as soon as the commercial would come on. It landed on a old song they both liked and they sang it together.

A few minutes after it was over Ian pulled up in front of her house.

Alex stayed still for a moment, lingering on a goodbye. She didn't really wanted to go home. She never did. But where else could she go?

He watched her go and felt the car as empty as it had ever been. He really needed that drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy was that... something. Idk.  
> I hope y'all liked it. And, since you're here, why not comment something? What would you like to see happens? Any opinions on the characters or my portray of Duncan? Anything, it a free Internet... to a fault sometimes.
> 
> Anyways, lots of love  
> — Mai


	10. Advanced Studies Of Modern Media And Pop Culture.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex finds herself drinking alone at the Halloween party on Greendale's library.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Epidemiology Halloween episode! Right on time by December 4th. At this rate y'all gonna get the Christmas episode by Easter or something  
> This is easily one of my top ten favorite Community episodes so I was supper excited to write it! And in some ways it's a two part thing since this is basically the set up for what's to come next chapter
> 
> Also with this one my word count reached 25000 and that's so satisfying  
> Somebody bookmark this so it's all even numbers
> 
> Anyway enjoy

Alex walked through the party with her cup filled with beer. It was a milkshake cup, like the one's on dinners, but it was a mock one made of plastic and it had a red, plastic straw in it. She was looking for her shoes, she had given them to Vicky to hold them for a moment and after fifteen minutes Vicky had already lost them. She sighted, she wasn't going to find them until the party was over, if even then. And that sucked because those were very nice heels she had used just a few times.

She gave up after walking in circles through the library half a dozen times. Hoping that if she could stay until the end of the party she could find them then. She leaned against a wall and started drinking from the plastic straw, trying to think of a place that she hadn't looked yet where her shoes could be.

Before she could think of anything she hadn't thought of before she was ambushed by a man in a all black spandex doing a weird snake-like noises. He lifted the helmet display revealing Abed's face. Troy appeared behind him in a homemade yellow costume making mechanical noises as Abed took a quick look at her costume.

— Mia Wallace. — she nodded even though it wasn't a question — Nice.

She looked at them for a bit longer than Abed had done with her — Ellen Ripley, Xenomorph. — they smiled at each other, happy to be recognized — Cute.

— Thank you. — they said at the same time.

— Any chance you saw Mia Wallace's shoes. — she asked Abed since Troy had gotten almost immediately distracted, looking at his surroundings for something.

— No. — he tightened his lips a little in a "sorry" kind of way.

— It's alright. — she shrugged — Goes with the costume. — he gave her a finger gun a wink accompanied with a clicking sound from his mouth.

Before they could continue Troy tapped Abed's shoulder — Abed. Hot girls by the drinks. — Abed looked and nodded when they looked at each other — Just like we practiced.

— Okay. — he lowered the helmet screen and made some more noises at her before walking away fully on character.

She chuckled to herself — Bye guys. — she took a sip from her beer and decided to head out and grab a smoke.

She went to the entrance of the library, chilly air brushing against her skin and creeping into her lungs. She looked for her cigarettes in the back pocket of her jeans and got them out before sitting down on the concrete stairs, only tumbling slightly as she did. She took one out and started smoking, she was bored out of her mind. She couldn't really get drunk without having to hear about Shirley's church's AA meetings the day after like last time she saw her had seen her drunk. She thought about going home but she remembered her shoes, she would have to stay all night if she wanted a chance at getting them back. She leaned into the column that was on her left and watched the people walking by. Drinking and smoking, she started to mentally rate their costumes.

When she was down to half her drink and lighting a new cigarette, she heard someone say — That will kill you. — she turned to the familiar voice, facing a tipsy Ian on a very dumb and quite plain Dracula costume. She smirked and rated it a five out of ten, just because he looked cute in it.

— It's got nothing on you and your drinking. — she teased back, looking away as he walked down a few steps.

— Drinking won't kill me. — he assured before taking a sip of his red cup, which she was sure had scotch in it. Maybe gin and tonic. He sat down next to her, leaving a couple of inches of free space between them.

— Tell that to your liver. — she wittedly replied, a teasing smile on her lips as she took another sip through the straw. It reminded him of the first time they spoke. Her index finger and thumb pressing down on the plastic tube, eyes on him, red tainted lips sipping from the straw behind a sly smile.

He stopped himself, looking away for a moment.

— My liver can handle. — he assured her and took a sip from his drink. He looked back at her, a small and playful smile on his face — Yours isn't far behind, anyway.

She smiled — Well, at least I don't do embarrassing things in front of the whole campus. — she teased and he crooked his head with curiosity, the ghost of a smile lingering on his lips. _What had she seen him do?_ — Do I have to remind you of; — she cleared her throat preparing herself and left her drink right next to her tight— "My name is Ian Duncan and I'm here to say-" — he shook his head for a moment of disbelief as she tried to remember the rest. Covering his face with his free hand as she continued — "I'm going to rap to the beat in a rappy way. I got a-"

— No. — he stopped her, covering her mouth with the hand that was just on his face, letting her see a tint of embarrassment passing through his cheeks — No, no. — he felt her lips tough lightly upwards under his hand. A titillating feeling that only made him want to have his lips take the place of his hand, just to kiss her, to study her lips so closely and thoroughly that he would be able to draw them by memory — No need to- — he gave a short and soft chuckle at the memory and the few words he was prohibiting her to say — No need to remind me. — he assured, equally embarrassed and amused by the memory.

Alex nodded softly. Her big eyes were looking up at him and the black hair of her wig moved as she did. He smiled loosely at her response, slowly taking his hand away from her lips, a tiny smear of her red lipstick staying in the palm of his hand.

She smiled, deciding to keep teasing him just a bit more. Maybe -just maybe- she wanted him to shut her up again — I would've loved to hear the rest of that masterpiece.

She took a drag from her cigarette as he gave her a quick snort — You might be lucky and get to hear it tonight. — there was a small hush, both of them smiling and drinking the liquid courage they so desperately needed — So, what are you doing here? — he asked after enough sips of his drink.

— I like to stay in character but I can't smoke inside. — she deadpanned, blowing the smoke from her lungs right after — What about you?

— Jeff invited me but I think it was to have me standing next to him and make him and his six thousand dollars suit look even better beside this. — he said in a nice mood in spite of the topic, nonchalantly pointing at himself at the end. He shrugged — So, why comply?

— For whatever it's worth, I rather this — she pointed at all of him with the hand that was holding her cigarette — over the six thousand dollars showoff in there.

He raised his eyebrows, unable to believe her but not wanting her to call her a liar. However he tried not to show his surprise in his voice when he replied — Really?

— Yeah. — she smiled, looking at him as she explained — Six thousand dollars suit to a community college party? He's trying too hard. — she looked away, staring at her glass as she lazily stated — Dracula may be a bit too common and low effort, but you look cute in it. — she took a sip of the beer and then left it back to where it was. Maybe she was more tipsy than she gave herself credit for, she wouldn't have said it otherwise.

Duncan looked at her, baffled and a bit wary as she smoked her cigarette. She thought he looked cute. She thought he looked cute and she was there, saying it. He was sure that if anyone would've ever fancy him, even a little, they wouldn't admit it. He cleared his throat and tried to keep the bafflement out of his voice as he attempted to tease her — So you think I look cute then?

Alex smiled a tint of read making its way to her cheek — Oh, shut up. — she said, lightly kicking his shin with her bare foot. He looked down at her feet, confused by the soft blow he had received.

— Are you barefoot? — he asked even thought he could see her feet without any shoes on them.

She followed his gaze and found her feet, finally processing what he had said — Oh, yeah. No one was recognizing me with them on.

— Aren't you cold? — he asked, after all, it was the middle of fall.

— Yeah, a little. But I lost them, so.— she shrugged, looking away and taking a few more sips from her beer.

— We can look for them. — he offered after a beat, then saying — Or do the dance and make the loss be worth it.

She looked at him and left her drink on the floor — Sure. — she finally said, taking one last drag from her cigarette before standing up. He stood up as she passed her hands through her pants to get rid of some dirt. She straightened up and nodded with a smiled. He started to walk to the party but she stopped him — Where are you going?

He stopped a bit dazzled with her question — To look for the shoes? — he hesitantly answered.

— What? No. We're doing the dance. — she smiled — C'mon.

— Oh, no. — he whispered, slightly regretting his own words.

— I haven't done it yet. — she said, pouting a little for a moment — Please. — she asked. Putting her hands on her hips as she accused him with a — You offered.

He took a breath and nodded — Okay.

She did a tiny up and down in celebration as he walked over her. She started to move her feet and arms, doing the dance without much thought. Ian on the other hand was having a bit of a hard time with his coordination, looking at her, trying to keep up and copy her moves.

She laughed a little — Focus on your steps, not on me. — she said, noting he was having a hard time following her moves.

— It's a bit hard not to. — he murmured. She smiled and blushed a little, that had been a bit smoother than she had thought it would be.

She laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation and of his dance, stopping for a moment to look at him. He stopped after a few seconds, realizing she was no longer dancing. She smiled at his confusion — C'mon, leave the cup, I'll show you. — she moved towards him and extended her hands. Even if she wouldn't admit it to herself she knew what she was doing, and what she was hoping for.

Realizing one of his hands was busy with his cup, he took the rest of the liquid in a swing and threw the plastic cup behind him.

She grabbed his hands as she did the dance, taking control over the movements of his arms. He still wasn't getting it right. She looked up to him — Just focus on your legs, I got the rest. — he nodded, a bit petrified by her closeness, her touch and the faint smell of scotch and beer she carried in her breath. She looked back down to their feet and he did the same — Ok, now, with the right. Your right. — she started to slowly move her foot — Twist, twist, twist. — she marked a slow beat and he was following just fine. She smiled — And we're passing to the left. — he followed with some trouble but did it — Twist, twist. And we do what we did before.

They did that just fine for a little more but when she tried to pick up the pace he couldn't seem to coordinate his feet. They laughed as they slowly stopped what they were doing — I guess I'm just not made for dancing. — he laughed out, a little embarrassed of his terrible dancing skills.

— I guess not. — she said with a smile, looking at his face with her head slightly crooked, trying to meet his gaze.

Their hands were still intertwined and he was sure Alex was getting closer to him. He looked up from the floor to her face, finding her so near that it caught his breath. And she was giving him this look that had something that looked hope-like and said something he couldn't quite decipher. She smiled softly, inadvertently looking down at his lips and then back at his eyes. He couldn't resist it. He closed in on the distance, his lips desperately meeting with hers. She quickly let go of his hands and placed them on the back of his head, slightly standing on her tiptoes and returning the kiss just as eagerly as he had kissed her. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer against him. He deepened the kiss, pressing her body against his, and as he did that he heard a drowned yelp of surprise.

They parted a little and she gave out a shaky breath that made his insides quiver — God. — he breathed out and he looked down at her, lip slightly parted and an expecting look on her face. He couldn't believe that that look was meant for him. That her lips had just kissed his. That his kiss and touch had led her to sight. That she was leaning towards him to kiss him again.

He was out of words so he acted on what he wanted to say. Keeping his eyes on hers he slowly made them walk towards the column behind her, she followed suit to his movements, inherently understanding what he wanted to do. He locked her slightly shorter frame between the wall and his body. He wanted to touch and kiss every part of her, every inch of her skin. He wanted to feel her warmth, her lust and, if it was possible, her love. He wanted to take everything she wanted to give him and to give her everything she would take from him. Too caught up in the excitement of touching her, of having her so close, of being able to kiss her, he started to inadvertently prey on her lips, just for a moment. Not long after, he snapped out of it and started kissing her hungrily once again.

His kiss was fueled with adoration and an inexorable lust with her on the receiving end of it, and she was loving the feeling of it. She absentmindedly hooked her left leg to his waist and he got closer, pressing her against the wall. She moaned softly and it caught his breath. His instincts hit quickly after and he went for her neck. Kissing it with open mouthed kisses before starting to suck and nibble her skin. She reacted by pressing harder against him and swearing under her breath. He somehow knew what she wanted and liked, it was said in some sort of subliminal conversation that they both were taking part of.

She worried for a moment about who could see them there and what they would think, but the way that his hands touched her body and his mouth sucked on the skin of her neck made her forget about the world. And the soft moan she let out at the feeling of his teeth biting down her neck made them ignore the screaming from the girl whose neck was getting bit by Leonard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something about neck being bitten that night... Anyway I hope y'all liked it (I feel like I use "y'all" too much but it literally drives me insane that the English language doesn't have a plural form of the second person. I know you can be used for a group of people but my brain first registers it as a singular person... Now I'm just rambling)  
> I'll try to update the next one as soon as I can
> 
> Lots of love  
> — Maitén


	11. Workplace Regulations And Intro To Pathology.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Ale get caught.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeez, have I had a month! Sorry for the delay but I had a lot of things going on with my personal life. And now I have to get my wisdom tooth taken out, so y'know, I'm in pain.  
> Anyway here it is, nearly 8000 words. I hope that makes up for the delay.

They overheard people screaming from the party and dismissed it as drunken idiots having a good time, too focused on each other's lips and bodies to care for the rest of the world. Her lips trembled as he stopped for a moment to give her whispered praises before crashing back into her lips. He was touching her so delicately yet so hungrily, kissing her with so much passion and care. It only made her want him more.

She heard a pair of boots running towards the party as she made him lean further into her and decided to block the rest of the world's sound, only focusing on the two of them. That was until someone screamed directly at them.

— Hey! — she heard the dean scream at them and she stopped kissing her professor and unhooked her leg from his hip, making him aware of the new situation — You two. — Ian closed his eyes as if he was in pain, cursing in his head. Ian slowly turned around and looked at the Dean. He did a few faces as he registered what he was seeing, looking at them before nearly screaming a high pinched — Duncan?! — he stopped them and himself from talking with a flick of his wrist and his palm extended in the air — I can't deal with this right now. — he murmured before looking at them, dead serious — Have any of you eaten the taco meat or got bitten? Be honest.

— No. — they both said, confused, but Ian did a double take — Sorry, did you say _got bitten_?

— Yeah, people are biting and infecting each other because of the meat the I bought. Big deal. — he said, nonchalantly — The real problem here is whatever the hell was that the two of you were doing?!

Alex frowned — Wait- people are what now?

— Don't change the subject. — he warned — I have to dean with what I saw. — he stopped and turned to Ian, putting one hand on his right hip — You were kissing her!

— No, I wasn't.

Alex looked at him and then at the Dean, both too busy in their confrontation to look at her. She did not understand what was happening. Why them kissing was such a big deal? Sure they were doing stuff that weren't entirely rated for general audiences but she was sure that wasn't it, it felt like she was missing something.

— Yes you were. I saw it! — he paused, incredulous — You have her lipstick all over your face. — he looked at her and changed his attitude to an impressed one — And it is still on your lips. — he frowned slightly — Did you reapply that?

— No. — she answered, confused by his question, Ian's answer and the people screaming inside the library. It couldn't be happening. Half of it didn't made sense, mainly the sick people biting stuff.

— Wow, — he smiled and looked a Duncan by reflex before quickly looking back at her, nodding — that is _some_ lipstick. Where did you get it?

— Does it matter? — she snapped — There are zombies or people with, like, rabies in there or something. — she said, pointing at the library in disbelief.

— Yes it does, and you can tell me later. — he dismissed her and stopped for a moment — Look, this — he pointed alternatively at each of them with a disapproving look — cannot happen.

She frowned, taking a step towards him, not letting him say whatever the fuck he wanted to say — Why not? I know you got forms for this kind of things. — she crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked at him with a conflicted look — Everyone knows about Winger and Slater.

— Well, that was because neither of them had a record. — the Dean turned to look at Ian, who was being strangely quiet since the discussion started — You already knew this Duncan. — the professor looked down but didn't let his head fall, he wasn't defeated but knew he couldn't meet Alex's gaze.

— What? — she questioned looking at them back and forward until she accepted Ian was not going to look at her — A- — she paused for half a second, trying to set things straight on her mind — A record?

The Dean hesitated and looked at Duncan — Do you want to tell her, Ian, or should I? — Ian looked up but didn't say anything, only glancing at Alex ever so often. Pelton sighted and shook his head — Alright. He-

He panicked. He should be the one to say it — I- I've slept with other students. — Alex looked confused, insulted and then mad, like she was about to slap him or run off, maybe both. He quickly realized what he had said and put his hands with the palms out in front of him, shaking his head — Not lately! — he tried to fix it but it still didn't sounded right — I mean- — he paused for a second. He should probably start from the beginning. Maybe he could say it in a way she would understand something he had yet understand about himself. Maybe she would understand that he was a selfish narcissist asshole but didn't really mean to. He breathed out — A long time ago, when I started working here. I guess the accent helped with things and- Well, it was messy. — he stopped talking even if he had barely stringed a sentence together. He knew he'd come out as an asshole anyway so he didn't tried to turn the story in his favor. Worst of it all was the way she was looking at him, wary, distrustful. It hurt him deep and it made his insides twist and turn with a phantom pain. So he stopped, his mouth shut and his eyes not meeting hers.

Pure silence, except from the groaning from the people _-zombies?-_ Inside and the faint sound of some Abba song.

He looked hurt and ashamed and she couldn't really understand what he had meant. _What did messy mean?_ She didn't want to think badly of him. She liked to think she knew him, and most of all, she liked to think she was a good judge of character. Yes, he was probably depressed and was definitely and alcoholic, but so was she. He didn't seemed to be the guy to do a actual bad thing with full intent. He seemed, to her at least, the type of guy who would unintentionally do _kind of_ a bad thing out of ignorance or selfishness, maybe almost do a bad thing but retract before doing it because he finds out he's not as morally bankrupted as he thought he was. But he was a man and men were idiots, so she kept her options open as she looked at the Dean for answers.

Craig sighted, ready to let a summarized version of the worst start of a new semester of classes he had ever had the displeasure of controlling, and that was saying a lot for Greendale — He dated three student simultaneously and he was the psychologist of one. — that was bad, but not as bad it could've been. He was unintentionally bad because he was being selfish — She broke his car and tried to set his office on fire. — he paused as she tried to process that — The other two didn't care as much but they did some... — he tried to find the right words — public vengeance, if you will. — she looked at Ian. What did that mean? — So, yeah, things got really messy.

All of them let the words sit in the air for a moment.

Dean Pelton knew there wasn't much left for him to say, surely it was most of it out in the open. Even if she could somehow look past that, they couldn't date. That was that. So he checked his phone for the time. Calculating how long the Army would take to arrive.

Duncan couldn't even look up. Afraid of the look she would be wearing. He had found that her eyes could be so expressive. It had left him amazed when she was exited -he was sure they could lit up an entire room-, happy -they could knock out the air out of his lungs- or even with that glimmer of something hope-like he had found a couple of times -that one could almost have him kiss her on the spot, and had already made him do it by then.

Alex, however, was thinking. He had dated students before. Three. At the same time. That was a red flag. More than that. Those were three red flags, all tied together and waving in front of her. He probably had slept with some other students. Was that a pattern? Maybe it was a thing for him. Student-teacher fantasy but a bit worse because it was for real. A thought popped into her mind; _had he ever traded grades for sex?_ That was another kind of bad. Like, actual morally bankrupt type of bad.

It was too much, too soon, or maybe not soon enough. Because it hurt that it was right then, right when she was letting her walls down for him. It hurt that he was not what she thought. And it hurt more because she liked him. She hated having to admit it but she did. She liked him. And it wasn't just physical or driven by the excitement of a "forbidden" relationship. She liked _him_. His jokes, his weird smooth-like awkwardness, his accent, his smile, his loneliness, the way they could just talk and drink and the way he would look at her, like if she was something he could cherish so dearly. But now it seemed to be all twisted and wrong. Part of a stupid thing he apparently had for college girls who wanted to fuck their professor — So this is like a thing for you, then? — she bluntly stated what was on her mind.

She sounded betrayed. And she was. Hurt, anger and something he couldn't quite put his finger on took over her eyes. It caught him by surprise, all of his blood rushed down to his feet, like if he was about to flee. But he didn't let himself do it. Instead he tried to make it right

— What? No! — he begged, feeling sick to the idea she had made of him. He pressed his eyes shut for a moment, trying to think — It just- I — he stuttered silently, unable to phrase his thoughts. He stopped and started again, looking at her general direction but not meeting her gaze — I was young, and lonely, and they wanted me, and I did a very stupid and fucking selfish thing, but this isn't a _thing_ for me. — He tried to explain, feeling like shit that this was the way she was finding out. He hoped he would've had the chance to tell her on his own terms, even if he knew he was too much of a coward and too selfish to risk what they had over the truth — Fuck. — he mumbled before looking at her straight in the eye with an amount of emotion he didn't think he was able to display.

Alex's face softened. All the distress on his voice and the pain in his eyes made the ache in her insides shift, she wasn't hurting from his lack of honesty anymore, now it was for him. She was hurting because he was. She hated it, it was fucked up, but she didn't try to stop it. She knew she couldn't.

— I- I wish I wasn't your teacher. — he stated, looking at her with a apologetic look as her silence rested heavy on his chest — Everyday I wish I had met you at a bar, or a coffee shop or anywhere else and that you still had noticed me and asked for my number just so this wouldn't be so... — he sighted, looking down feeling so tired, his chest riddled with anxiety and sorrow, — so fucking messy.

In the silence that was born out of that repeated word they heard screams coming from the library. It was the non-zombie kind of screaming, so they knew it was their friends. They stopped for a second, all of their eyes on the door.

— We should help. — she said, taking a faint step toward the door. Ian feared for her and was about to stop her when the Dean spoke.

— The army said to keep them in quarantine until they get here. We shouldn't come in.

She looked at him incredulous — The army? — she asked and without thinking much followed up with a confused — What branch?

— _That_ is your concern?

— I don't know! — the Dean complained, distress as the idea was settling in — The army. — he placed, checking his cell phone — They'll be here in five hours.

— Are we supposed to just let them stay there and do nothing? — she complained, guilt and impatience eating her up inside.

— We can- — Ian intervened, looking at her with a pleading look — We can try and figure _this_ out.

— There is nothing to figure out here! — the Dean stated — You are not going to date her. — Ian turned, looking tired of listening to his voice, as he warned — If you do I'll have to fire you.

— Oh, come on! — Ian complained in a child-like manner that would've amused Alex any other day, but she was in no mood to be amused.

— I'm serious, Duncan. — he warned and Alex sighted as Ian let out a few exasperated noises.

— No need to fire him, Dean, — she said, strangely calmed, but sounding disappointed and tired, like she was about to tell everyone to fuck off — we're done.

— What? — Ian asked, entirely caught off guard, but was ignored.

— Now, if you say that and then I find you two sneaking around, there will be some serious consequences for the both of you. — threatened Pelton and she tiredly rolled her eyes.

— I'm serious, Dean. — she said, feeling the burning gaze of Duncan on the side of her face but not facing him — We're done.

— Alright then, — he chimed — one problem solved.

She nodded slowly and then walked away, going back to the place she had started this whole thing in, the stairs. She lit a cigarette, hoping and needing to hear Ian's steps walking towards her, even if it was the last thing she wanted. But she felt her heart sink every second that he stayed still. She wanted him to fight for her. After a long time she felt wanted by someone she wanted and she didn't want to lose it.

Ale hated the way he made her feel. It had been so long she had herself had lost control of her own feelings and she hated it. She couldn't get them off of her even if she kept listing to herself the many reasons why it wouldn't work, why it could be bad for her, why she shouldn't. But she still hoped to hear his footsteps

Luckily for her heart, she got to hear him walking towards her when she was half way through the cigarette. She sighted. Duncan sat down next to her but didn't utter a word for a long moment. Still, she knew he wanted to say something, maybe he was trying to figure out what.

As she was taking in the second to last puff of the cigarette he spit the words out — So that's it, then?

She felt his words sting in her hears and chest, he was hurting and she felt so guilty — Ian-

— Please tell me. — he stopped her, knowing she wasn't going to explain it unless he asked, so he almost begged her.

She took her last drag and put out the cigarette on the cement, she knew what she was going to say but she hated to say it. She let the smoke out and said — I like you but, even if I could look past it, I'm not going to have you get fired for this.

Ian looked at her with confusion and sadness — Why not?

She gave a soft snort at his response, looking at him incredulously — Because it's ridiculous. — she stated, looking at him as if to say "I'm not the crazy one here". Her mannerisms and voice strong and rushed — This isn't even a thing. We don't know if it would last or even be worth it.

He softened his look and she mirrored him — It is worth it. — he waited for a second, trying to see her reaction but her expression was blank, as if she couldn't really understand him. He licked his lips, looking away for a moment — A chance at this, a chance with you, it's worth losing my job at this second hand community college. — when he finally faced her he noted her face was wearing some disbelief so he reassured her — It is, for me it is.

Her lip was quivering softly and her eyes darted on his face — I- — she tried to speak but got nowhere. She kept looking at him. The sincere look on his eyes, the hope he was wearing in his eyes, his dimples that somehow showed up even when he was talking, even if he just had faintest smile, his hair that she had made so messy. He made her feel weak inside, and the way that he wanted her so openly made her feel so exposed and vulnerable but unafraid. She hadn't felt that way in so long and couldn't handle it. She solemnly shook her head — I don't want it. — it was quiet but he heard it. It was some sort of default answer. Like a picky eater after being offered a new food to try; her default was no, and that broke his heart — It's- It's too much pressure. — she continued, still shaking her head, feeling so much of herself crumble down — I'm sorry. — she walked away, trying to see trough her blurry vision. She sat at the green table a few feet from the entrance, turning her back on him just to hide her sadness. She didn't even know her feelings were as fatal as they seemed to be right then. She wondered since when had he became a piece of her, and why did she noted it so much now that it seemed to be gone.

She didn't let herself cry, not really. Whenever her sobbing started she insulted herself out of it, calling herself weak and everything that went down from there. However, she couldn't do much for the ache on her chest. She wasn't one to easily start trusting someone but something about Duncan made her feel easy and safe. And she realized she hadn't felt as unsafe as she was feeling in that moment, so far away from him. She wanted to be back in his arms, to have his breathing meet against her own, to have his hands touching her and his lips kissing hers as she rejoiced in the safety of his arms.

But she couldn't.

She didn't let herself do it. She was on the edge of something, of a chance, but she was too afraid to do anything about it. It was too much for her to be vulnerable and say "Yes, I want this. I want you. Let's do it". She had trained herself not to do it, not to say what she wanted, not to try and get it. She understood that doing it was giving the universe a free entry to rip her heart out of her chest and throw it away. It was giving up too much power, too much of herself to something that was out of her control.

So she tried to think of something else; like the library full of sick people. She really tried to think about it but her mind was fighting back on the topic. Yes, there was a library full with zombie-like people, biting each other and they didn't know if they were going to be alright. She knew many of them and there were even friends trapped in there. She was worried but her brain kept pushing her thoughts back to Duncan, back to her feelings, back to the way he kissed her and the way he looked as she told him she didn't want it, she didn't want him. Maybe it was because the idea of real life zombies was too much to phantom, but maybe it was because, since she had learn what was like to have him, he was the only thing on her mind now that he was missing.

Ian had sat there as she walked away from him. Trying to understand, trying to pick up the pieces of himself. He had been as sincere and vulnerable as he had ever willingly been and she said she didn't want it, that it was too much. And his insides twisted and turned and stabbed him in the core of his being and he couldn't have hated it more.

He stayed there, wallowing in his misery, until he remembered this had been a party not long ago and he had filled his flask with scotch right before going outside to see her. He ached a bit to the recent memory and grabbed the alcohol from his pants. He took a long swing from his drink, focusing on the burning on his throat instead of the ache on his chest. He absentmindedly stood up and walked away, laying his back against the cold wall and his eyes on the spot where he was sitting.

The pain kept him drinking, knowing he wanted the buzz to take over him, to take over every other feeling in his body. But the effect wasn't acting fast enough; he felt strangely naked and vulnerable, something he wasn't used to feeling. Usually he was protected by sheer disinterest, sarcasm and a fair amount of alcohol. But, that night, all three of his comfort blankets were gone and he was left cold and alone in the dark. Feeling every emotion he had ever tried avoid feeling, but, more importantly, that lonesome feeling he was long acquainted with was bigger than it had ever been.

His eyes darted around to look for the large white dress shirt and the girl who was wearing it, because, even if it hurt, it brought him a warm feeling that had just become a bit bittersweet, and was becoming more so by the second. And there she was, sitting at the green table, hair messy and free of the wig, her arms around her own body. And as the bittersweet took over him, his partially drunken self focused on the sweet for a moment, on the memory of the feeling. But as he saw her hide her face in her hands the moment died out, the present made itself be remembered, the bitter feeling overtaking him. He took a long swing of the scotch, trying not to feel what they were both feeling.

— You have a problem with that. — he heard the Dean say and he felt all of his body burn with annoyance and sudden anger.

He put the flask down and swallowed the liquid on his mouth, very much ready to tell him off — Oh, you think I don't fucking know that? I got a Psychology doctorate and a fucking functioning brain. — he said, sounding more annoyed than just angry. He put the lid on the flask as he prepared to say some more — Oh, I have an alcoholic dependency? Holy shit, I hadn't realized. — he said, deadpan yet sarcastic to a painful degree — Thanks Dean, I guess I'll go cure myself now, you fucking prick.

Craig was a bit startled, to say the least, and looked a bit sad, he didn't like to be screamed at and couldn't handle it all too well. He looked at the floor for a moment and said — No need to be so aggressive. — he looked at Ian with a bit more authority, he paced a hand on his hips and looked at him as if he was about to scold him — And you can't talk to me like that, Duncan. I'm your boss.

Ian snorted in disbelief, looking away — Oh, for fuck's sake! — he nearly screamed at the air and then looked back at his boss — Are we really counting everything as the apocalypse starts? — he said, annoyed beyond his natural capability — Who gives a shit about the zombies!? I told the Dean to go fuck himself, that's the real issue here!

Pelton looked at him, trying to look stern and a bit threatening but not quite accomplishing it — Look, I-! — Troy showed up behind Duncan, shirtless and distressed, startling both of the faculty members. More like startling Ian and scaring Craig. The Dean shouted as he got his pepper spray out of his pocket and pointed it at Troy. He walked towards him and past Duncan — Okay. Troy, be honest. Are you a zombie? — he said and immediately threatened — I will mace you.

— Give me the keys. — Troy asked, sounding tired and sad, he looked as if he had lost everything. And Ian recognized the look in Troy's eyes, it was almost the same one he was wearing. Ian's eyes went immediately to Alex. She wasn't paying attention to them, she probably hadn't realized Troy was there — People are gonna get brain damage if someone doesn't help. — Alex would want to help, Ian knew it but didn't do anything about it. He wanted her safe, he didn't want to be carrying the sadness and desperation that Troy was.

— Troy, there is something called chain of command, so, unfortunately-

Ian escaped his thoughts when Craig fell down in front of him and Troy reached for the keys tied to the Lady Gaga costume. The young man stood up and looked at him, waiting for him to do something but Ian stood still. And as the Dean screamed at him about being crazy Troy just said — Dude. — without any question, Ian moved out of his way, raising his hands a bit as if he had no say in the matter at all.

Troy went to open the gate but stopped when the Dean desperately asked — How are you gonna survive the zombies?

— I'm gonna be a nerd. — he said before opening the gate.

— Better have a plan B! — Craig screamed but Troy was already in, closing the doors behind him. Ian looked at Alex again. She hadn't moved, elbows on the green table and hands on her face, almost facing the floor. It worried him how she could be so absent even when there were people screaming and punching each other twenty feet from her.

He saw the Dean shake the dirt off his costume, saying how glad he was that his pantyhose hadn't been ripped.

Ian sighted, and called for him, a tired and pleading look on his eyes — Can we just have this one night? Just- — he breathed out — Please? — Pelton crooked his head. Duncan sounded sincere, which was very uncommon, specially for the Dean to see — There are people biting each other right on the other side of that door because of the food you gave them and the army is coming. So, can you please just let us have this for tonight?

Craig looked at him and then at the door where a few zombified Greendale students wandered. He closed his eyes for a moment and nodded reluctantly — Alright. — Ian looked at him in disbelief, Pelton stopped him, laying some ground rules — Just until the army gets here. And you can't leave! — he said — They told me to keep the perimeter tight.

Ian nodded, trying to prepare himself, his heart beating fast and with joy. He stopped himself and looked at him — Thanks. — he said, sincerely, giving him a short nod.

Craig smiled like he did when he was feeling included and surprised, which Ian didn't even see because his focus was Alex, he had a bit less than four hours with her and he wouldn't waste one more minute — Oh, it's nothing. — the dean said as Ian started walking away.

Duncan's palms were a bit sweaty as he walked towards her. He stared at the back of her neck and saw her softly run her hands trough her hair and sight, and he did the same to relax. He quickly decided to just sit beside her in the table's bench. She turned to him. He noted her eyes were a bit red and some of her makeup was smudged. The sight she gave made his chest sink.

He kept looking at her tired eyes and she furrowed her brow a little as he tried to gather the courage to touch her face again. She looked confused but didn't say anything as he took her jaw in his right hand and caressed the side of it as started to move towards her. Her eyes fluttered shut as he got near. She moved ever so slightly towards him and he stopped for half a second to see her, so willing, so vulnerable, so beautiful.

He kissed her softly at first. Taking the time he hadn't taken before. He kissed her sweetly, gently placing his other hand on the back of her hand and slowly moving it upwards through her arm, feeling her soft, vanilla-scented skin against his fingertips. He felt her warm lips softly returning the kiss. And as they shared that closed mouthed kiss he realized how truly lonely he had been and how jaded his feeling were. He had forgotten how it felt to be wanted more than just sexually and the sweet reminder she was giving him made his heart twinge in a good way, like getting a splinter off. It hurt but it brought relief.

Alex gently intertwined her hand in his hair and he forced himself to drown the small whimper her actions provoked. He deepened the kiss and transformed it into an open-mouthed one. And, even if it was filled with passion, it was slow and intimate, like a love confession from one friend to another. It slowed the time around them and it made it go faster all the same. Slowly but surely they started to pick up a pace but she stopped it into a halt when she remembered the Dean's threat. She looked at him, getting ready to talk, but she never got to; he knew what she was going to say and he already had an answer — It's just for tonight. — he said. It was almost a promise, a promise that he hated to make.

She gave him a sorry excuse for a smile that turned sour almost immediately, and then nodded shortly, almost to herself.

After a short solemn moment she turned her body towards him and slowly preyed on his lips. She knelt on her seat to get closer. Softly she rested her hands on his shoulders and he closed his eyes. He wanted to feel her close once more. He waited for her lips to touch his but all he felt was her body positioning itself in on top of him. He opened his eyes a bit surprised. She was straddling him. Her bum was lightly pressed against his thighs, her boobs closer to him and his face that he thought they'd ever be, and her face was a bit more elevated than his, looking slightly down on him. She smiled with a mix of mischief and lust as she leaned towards him, ready to kiss that grin off his face.

And she did just that, getting his mouth to be so busy with kisses and moans that he had no time left to hold up a dumb grin.

He hesitantly placed his hands on her thighs, as if he was afraid of touching her, and she grinded against him to tease him, giving him just enough friction to drive him mad. She smiled whenever a weak moan of a lustful sight escaped his lips. It seemed to be a bit like a drug for her. To make him feel so good that he would lose some control over himself, she had found that it could drive her mad.

She deepened the kiss and tried to stay as close to him as possible, almost trying to link every cell in their bodies. She held herself with one hand on his arm and the other one in the back of his neck. Alex was leading the kiss, it was something new for her but she liked it. She bit his lip and smiled mischievously as she let it go, leaving a small space between them and looking at him playfully.

Duncan was mesmerized, the woman in front of him was too much to take in just one look. Her bruised lips. Her sly smile. Her flustered cheeks. Her tousled brown curly hair. Her light brown eyes that were dwelling on his as she got closer.

She kissed him again, teasing his lips with her tongue, and he couldn't hold himself still. He grabbed her ass with both of his hands and pressed her against him, kissing her roughly and making her moan all at once. And she returned all of this just as much ferociously, tugging his hair a little and biting his lip in the process.

— Oh, ok. — he heard the Dean say and before walking away somewhere, but he couldn't care less because her sweet lips were kissing him, her warm hands were on his hair and both of her legs were straddling him down into the very uncomfortable metal seat. He didn't care about anything else but the woman on top of him. And, Jesus fucking Christ, kissing her was incredible. Beyond anything he would've dreamed of. But the way her body moved against his, the way it felt between his hands, it made him want to do so much more than just kissing and grinding. But they couldn't. Right? He thought about it for a second; they couldn't. Still, he rejoiced his senses with the sweet moans she was giving out, the rough movements her tongue made against his own and the not-too-subtle way her hips swayed forward and backwards. All of it was enough to help him get by with just wanking off to the memory of it for the rest of the year, not that he was new to the field.

And he continued to be kissed by her, letting her surround him with all her warmth and desire that seemed to carry a hint of love. He wondered how he had ever gone so long without any of the things she was giving him. It had been hell. Now that he had it, now that he had her, he wondered if he could ever go without it, if he'd ever want to. He didn't think so, he could barely manage the thought of it. So he tried not to think about it, he tried to focus on the present.

But, and with the future on his mind, he made his duty to leave a couple of noticeable marks for the week ahead. So, since he wasn't going to be able to touch her like that again he would have something of him on her to look at for at least a few days.

— Fuck. — she whimpered and he almost shuddered at the sound.

God, she was so prefect, so gorgeous, so selfless, so fucking good; too good for him, he knew, but he couldn't let her go for the life of him. She was so amazing, and he had been absentmindedly whispering it in her ear — You're so fucking lovely, my dear. — he said before nibbling her earlobe and then going back to her neck.

She smiled sweetly, just for him, even if he couldn't see it, and whispered his name like a prayer, one time for every law of God he made her want to break. And he thanked whoever was in charge of the universe for having him hear his name mouthed by such beautiful lips in a manner that made him feel as if he was blissfully stuck in a dream. He could've stayed there for the rest of his days, kissing and biting her neck as she spoke his name like a mantra, but he realised the slow and lustful movements she was doing with her hips had lead them to the edge of his seat in more than one way. And he softly kissed his way up her jaw as he said — You're gonna have to sit on top of the table now.

She smiled with a soft, lovesick giggle as he reached the edge of her lips — Why? — she mumbled between his soft kisses.

— Because I'll fall off the seat, otherwise.

— Oh. — she said, laughing softly with him. Feeling relaxed because it was him, and it was just so easy to be with him.

She managed to hold herself on her knees before sitting on the table. She smiled as he got off the seat and moved to the side of the table, she turned a quarter around, having him stand right in front of her. She waited for a second, heart raising, head spinning a little and cheeks blushed. She smiled as he leaned closer, it had been just a few second but she had missed him, his warmth, his lips. Slowly, he took the back of her neck and kissed her, making her forget about the world around them. She kissed him back and opened her legs to have him take back his place between them, she loved having him so close, and she loved it more when he pushed in against her, getting even closer letting her feel him. It had started to turn rough and fast, almost desperate, like it was the last time, because, for all they knew, it was.

Alex grabbed his sides and pushed him against her body, trying to show him how badly she wanted him, so he reacted. He kissed her rougher and started to explore her body with his hands. First her thighs, mostly the side of them, then her bum, he squeezed it and she jumped a bit, getting closer to him in process. His hands slowly creepied it's way to her waist, where his fingers lingered under the shirt, and then up to her boobs. She wasn't wearing a bra, which he had noted when he first saw her. He fondled them and even over the shirt he could tell they were soft and tender. She was sensitive to his touch, and he could tell that because she stopped kissing him for a moment to bite her lip when his fingers focused on her nipples. So he took the chance and attacked her neck, already knowing it was one of her sweet spots, and bucked his hips against her core. She moaned at the summative of pleasures, her body shuddered as her hands dropped from his body, grabbing the edge of the table harshly, trying to keep herself in place.

He smiled at her reaction and, as he bucked his hips a bit more, moved his lips to her ear — Did you like that? — he teased. She mumbled a curse and immediately moved her hands to his belt, wanting to retaliate, wanting to play a game of who could turn the other one to a puddle of goo the easiest and win it — Easy, love. — he warned — I don't think that would be very prudent.

She mumbled and amused yet frustrated — Fuck you. — and kissed him deeply but slowly, trying to make peace with the idea of not going further than kissing and some mild dry-humping. She wished she had him in a empty bedroom with a bed on it. To have him do whatever he wanted to her and her to him. She kissed him softly and told herself she was alright with the promise they had made. Just tonight. It was fair, they both would lose what they could have had. The other way he would've lost his job and her, too, eventually. She was sure of it. She knew herself well enough; she would get scared or drive him away. Even if he didn't know, it was a fair trade. She knew, but she could take the guilt and sadness. And, as she thought that, as she thought that she would go back to feeling so immensely lonely she kissed him more dearly.

And they kept kissing, long enough to have their lips numb, long enough that they melted into each other, long enough that they didn't have to kiss anymore, long enough that they were just standing in a warm and lazy embrace and it was just as good, just as intimate. Her breathing was on his skin as she laid lazy kisses on his shoulder and neck, moving slightly to have access to every single freckle she had noticed there. And he felt the softness of her lips and the sheer care they came with. Unbeknownst to her, she was giving him something that he would treasure so dearly. And he was so close to say something so very stupid, but instead moved his face to look at her and, by the second she looked back, kissed her so lovingly that it almost pained the both of them.

He poured almost all the love in his heart into that kiss, because he hadn't poured none of it in a while and she deserved it. He was sure she deserved every ounce of love he had to give, and he couldn't be bothered with the building up walls and the hesitating, they had only a few more hours at most and he wanted to spend every single moment in those giving her every reason to give them a chance. And it was so sweet, sweet enough to make up for the bitter situation. And, as they stopped for air, they laid forehead against forehead, breathing each other in. She smiled and gave him a sweet and short kiss before melting back into his soft embrace, wanting to be held in his arms until the night was trough.

They were holding themselves close and dearly. Ian still between her legs, holding her with his head on the crook on her neck and both of his hands on her back, holding her as if she was about to slip away. She liked to be held like that. She tried to let him know it with one of her hands subtly roaming through his hair as the other one laid on his upper back, arm crossing by his waist, thumb slowly moving up and down. He had hoped that having her this close for one night would make letting her go easier but it only made him fear the lack of her touch. What would he do without her hands tangled in his hair, without her lips touching his neck, without her in his arms. He feared the ghost of her touch and her kisses would follow him forever. When would he have a woman like her touch him so lovingly again? He thought it was a once in a life opportunity for him. But even if it wasn't, even if he did meet a girl just as beautiful, funny and sweet as her, he would only want Alex.

Against his every selfish wish, a couple of military vehicles arrived at the foot of the stairs. He looked at it and, without a moment to waste, kissed Alex so desperately, deeply and lovingly that it made her whine in surprise and moan in pleasure just a second after. He pressed her tightly against his body, feeling as much of her as he could manage. He kissed her until he couldn't anymore. Her words ringing in his ears _“we're done”_. She had let them go so easily. Maybe that had change, just maybe.

He slowly let go of her, their hands being the last thing that connected them, and her hand felt so cold and small against his. His interlocked finger warmed her a little and worked as shelter from the chilly night. And she seemed so small as looked into his eyes before he looked away and started moving towards the army men, hearing Pelton say something about them being over where they were but she couldn't care less about any of it. She wanted more, a couple more minutes at least.

And as if he could read her mind, Duncan tugged her arms and pulled her towards him, catching her in his arms and giving her a soft yet passionate kiss. She took in a breath as he kissed her. Maybe it would be worth it. All those consequences, all the bothers and the secrecy. Maybe they were worth it.

She let go and smiled at him so sincerely that it melted his heart. He hoped she had meant it in a "We're gonna get through this" but maybe it was a quick way to say "Sorry. It was nice while it lasted", but he didn't get to ask her.

— Sir, ma'am, could you please come here?

He gave her a short smile and turned to guide them towards the Dean and the army guys, where it all began a couple of hours before. He felt like those damn stair would never be the same to him.

And, as they were a few feet from them, the army guy sprayed something into the Dean's face — Holy shit. — they stopped in their place as Craig fell to the ground, and he held her closer, stepping a little in front of her, as if that would be worth something, but the army guy walking towards them knew it wouldn't make a difference. She held his arm tighter as whatever was in that gas made it to their lungs and knocked them out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, ok. I know this feels like a cop out but it was to have that conflict introduced. I took the "I'm not allowed to date students" of season one the my heart. It has to be true bc, who wouldn't want to get with Annie? Really. So I made this shit up. Also it gives this thing something resembling a conflict and plot so I'll take it.  
> Anyway... Happy new year! I'll read you all in 2021!


	12. Intermediate Studies Of Memory And Subjectivity.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Ian wake up with no memory of the night before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Long time no read. Anyway. to those who didn't see the update to the description I couldn't post bc my brother got Covid bc his friends and him are idiots. He's fine now but it was some scary weeks and even when he was out of the woods I still couldn't use the computer bc it's in his room and he was quarantineing there
> 
> Anyway, a month and some more days later the chapter is here, it a bit short but I'll be posting the next one soon enough  
> Without further ado... this thing!

Some people were being questioned by the police, some were being checked by the paramedics. The two of them, however, were standing still, looking at the mild chaos that spread around them. Alex was hugging herself, no longer having her wig, shoes or memories of the past seven hours. Sure, she could remember a thing or two from the beginning of the party, like the haze of a memory of talking to Vicky about her shoes, but nothing past that.

Ian was standing next to her, they had woken up a few feet from each other, both looking a bit more alive than the rest of the party but just as confused. They had barely spoke since they had woken up but he still was waiting next to her as a paramedic started to check her. She had a few cognitive test on her reflexes and brain function, she was fine, or so the lady told her. She wasn't sure if she was. Alex wanted to dismiss the entire night but something about being drugged and not remembering anything made her feel... well, confused and scared. She stepped down from the top of the table and looked at Ian with a cordial and shy smile — You didn't have to wait. — she assured as she rolled down her sleeve from where the nice paramedic had taken her pressure.

— I know. I wanted to hear that you were okay, from a professional and not just the Dean trying to get us not to sue.

There he was again, caring for her, trying to see if she was alright, in a nonchalant way, as always. Ever since he had shown that side of him she started to reciprocate it. First, without thinking it through, with the tie and then with smaller things, being a bit more careful with the invasion of his personal space, like picking up something for him when he dropped it, saving him a slice of pizza the few Fridays they had had lunch together, and even paying Star-burns to stand guard and distract the Dean as they did some day-drinking in his office a few times. _"I buy the liquor, you buy the security."_ He had said.

Alex wasn't sure of what to say or what to do as she got off the gurney. Luckily, he spoke first — I'm gonna go, do you need a ride or are staying with someone here?

She thought about it for a second and nodded — Yeah, I'll take the ride. — she wanted to go home to her bed. She had made plans with Abed but she could just cancel them — I just should let Abed know. — she looked around to see if her friend was near but he wasn't. She looked back at Ian — I'll go look for him and meet you outside, okay?

— Sure. — Ian agreed and she walked to the study room, supposing Abed and his group were probably there. And, as always, there they were. She saw Abed and Troy leave their seat on the table and start walking towards were she was standing.

— Hey. — Abed said as she joined them on their way to the exit — We were just on our way to the dorm.

— We're gonna see Marmaduke. — Troy chimed in, smiling tiredly but as bright as always.

— Care to join us?

— Actually, I'm going back to my place. That's what I came to tell you.

— Okay. — there was a beat before he questioned — See you tomorrow? — she nodded.

— Sure. — and they stepped out of the library. She saw Ian standing next to the last column and quickly waved goodbye her friends to go to him.

She didn't hear Abed say it but he commented to Troy about hers and Ian's minor side story. He said he it wasn't entirely a spinoff but it wasn't part of his and his friend's show, he was still trying to figure out what they were.

Ian stood still as she walked towards him — Ready? — she nodded and he guided her to his car. And, just like that, he was taking her back to her place once again.

She wondered if he lived nearby her house but felt it was a bit weird to ask, so she brought up how fucked up it was to had been roofied and how that only would ever happen in Greendale. He nodded along and assured that, to him, it had been Chang who had done it — Why? — she asked, more to keep the chatter going than to see why would he think of Chang as a suspect. She had taken his class as an easy A, there was no doubt the man had a few loose screws up in his head and would do weird shit like that.

— I mean, the guy isn't entirely sane. — he said gesturing with his hands but never quite taking them off of the wheel — Did you know that he assaulted me last year? — he said, almost like the first time she heard him say it — I mean, we're good now. — he added — But still. — she smiled, remembering the night that had happened.

— You did mentioned it on the first class. — she said and he opened his mouth in a small _"ah"_ , nodding a bit. She remembered that day, and subsequently the day that assault had happened. That was the first time she had seen Ian. It had been quite an impression — Besides, — she added — I was there when it happened.

He did a double take of her that his eyes finished by focusing on the road. There was a beat of silence where his brow furrowed and his eyes darted around the windshield for a moment. He looked at her — Really?

— Yeah, the transfer dance. — she says and chuckles a little to the memory. He tried to keep the eye contact with her but had to give up so he wouldn't end up crashing the car — You were rapping and got suspended.

He grunted embarrassed — God, I can't believe you saw that. — he breathed out, if he wouldn't have been driving he would've covered his face. He thought about it for a moment and looked at her — How did I not see you?

She shrugged, giving him half a smile as he turned back to look the road — I'm easy to miss I guess. — she wasn't going to tell him she was the one that had gotten him ice for his nose, he was pretty wasted that night and she didn't blame him for not remembering it, so, she kept it as a secret for herself, trying to keep that moment safe from something she wasn't quite certain about.

A lopsided smile formed on his face, letting her see his right sided dimple. He looked at her, shaking his head a little as his eyes examined her face and sweet smile — I beg to differ.

— Then beg. — she teased and he laughed, tempted to do so.

The car got quiet as Ian focused on driving so she grabbed her cell phone and checked her photo gallery, notes and messages. Thinking that, whenever she would get voluntarily high, she would start taking pictures, writing ideas and, on very unlucky and lonely nights, sending messages. This time she had done none of those, maybe, whatever they had slipped into the drinks, had a different effect from weed.

She saw the time on her phone and had to do a double take — Shit, it's already seven AM? — he nodded and did hummed a soft affirmative sound. She sighted — My mom's gonna flip if she sees me getting home this late.

He furrowed shortly at her comment — Not to be rude, — he hesitated, tentatively looking at her eyes, hoping she wouldn't take offence — but aren't you a full grown adult?

— Yeah, but she worries, and... she's got reasons. — she tried to explain but cringed at her own words. It made her feel so childish. Almost everything did when it came to her and her mother. Maybe because she had grown up, maybe because she felt she hadn't grown up enough — I just- I don't want to freak her out with the whole "party got drugged and I don't know what happened". I haven't even gotten my own head around it, I can't deal with her thousand questions. — Ian nodded along her words. A soft lull fell over the car before she turned to him and asked — How aren't you freaked out about it?

—Well, I'm used to it. — he shrugged — I get myself blackout drunk probably once a week. Maybe more. — he figured, hands on the wheel eyes on the road except for the few times that they would look right into hers — Also, I got my wallet, my car and my cell phone. There isn't a lot more they can take from me. — he said, glancing to her side. She nodded with a relaxed smile. She wasn't looking at him anymore, she was looking ahead, thrown back into the seat. He took the opportunity to look at her, seeing how the yellow lights of the street kissed her brown skin, how her curly hair fell down her shoulders, brushing her neck. He looked away for a moment to check on the street but did a double take on her neck, noting a few spots that looked like bruise. He furrowed. Hickeys. Those were hickeys.

A few questions rose into mind but the two more prominent were: Did she noticed them? Who had gave them to her? On the back of his head there was trace of jealousy that was promptly overshadowed by a rational concern that turned his blood cold. They all had been drugged, something bad could've happened. He pushed those thoughts aside, _that wouldn't happen, right?_ Greendale was a crappy place, sure, but not _that_ kind of crappy. He took a shaky breath. He should tell her, he knew that much. She was gonna see them anyway so maybe it was better for him to be there to help — Alex, — she looked at him with a wondering look on her face — I think you have something on your neck.

Her eyebrows furrowed before she reached for the mirror on the parasol to check for herself — Well, fuck. — her hands traced the few marks on her neck as her stomach dropped and the corner of her lips turned downwards — I'm hating not knowing what happened even more now. — she thought aloud, giving a short and bitter laugh at her own comment.

There was a morbid silence in the car. Neither of them were going to say it but they both knew what they were both thinking. It was scary, to say the very least, and she checked the rest of her body for other marks or sore spots but, to her relief, she didn't find any.

She leaned back into the seat and hid the mirror. Her mind was rushing and she was beyond scared, she tried to remember anything but her mind just gave her a big black screen of nothingness. She held herself in her own arms, trying to calm down. She didn't want to cry, she wanted to scream. If something bad had happened she was sure she didn't want to remember. She wanted to know, but, at the same time, she didn't. It was so very confusing.

She checked herself for the hundredth time in the last few minutes. She felt fine-ish. Her body felt a bit tired and her brain was a bit hazy, but she didn't feel like something bad had happened. The thing was, she didn't actually _knew_ if something happened, and not knowing felt so unfair and infuriating.

She wanted to scream, but she couldn't; so she assured herself that nothing bad had happened, even if a piece of her was still afraid that it had.

He tried to look at her, try to see what she was feeling but he couldn't look long enough to figure it out. He was driving, concerned, confused and just a bit drunk, he knew he should just focus on driving but something had happened to her and he supposed she would need help processing it. He felt it was his duty to help, he was her friend and a licensed therapist after all. So he waited and kept his ear sharp just in case. But she didn't say anything for a while, not until they were parked in front of her house and seated in place.

— I mean, — she spoke, voice just slightly hoarse and eyes focused on the windshield — if anything happened, I don't know it. — she looked at him. She seemed fine, just a bit conflicted — Isn't that better? Psychologically speaking.

— Well, not quite. Psychologically speaking. — he tried to bring some levity but couldn't manage to, so he turned a just a bit more serious — Even if we don't consciously remember, our subconscious does. It affects us, and our brain has it's own ways of showing that to us. — she nodded, looking just past him, a bit more to his right, but he knew she wasn't looking at anything in particular, her mind was most certainly busy with so many things. He took a breath and continued — If you feel you're fine, you probably are, — he said, somehow trying to reassure and console her — but if you notice anything that isn't... fine; you can tell me. — she looked at him again — I know I work at Greendale and seem a bit of a joke but I am a licensed therapist after all, I went to a university, I even did a thesis. — he stopped himself from ranting — What I mean is, — he laid a hand on her forearm, trying to ground both of them, trying to comfort her, trying to let her know that he was there for her — you can talk to me.

She gave him a faint smile that meant — Thank you. — and laid her hand on top of his. She wasn't sure what she meant by it, but she did it anyway, it was comforting. Touching him always seemed to be.

The conversation was done but she needed a moment before saying goodbye and leaving his touch, comfort and car. Just one more moment before she had to go home and deal with everything she hadn't dealt with yet.

She took a breath and slowly took her hand away from him, and so, his touch retracted from her arm. She smiled softly and a bit sadly as she looked into his eyes — See you Thursday, right?

He nodded — Yeah. See you Thursday.

She entered the door and he tried to smile at it. She was ok. No matter what had happened that night, she was alright. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm overusing the carpool thing. Still, catch me next chapter using it again.
> 
> I hope you all liked it. Actually I hope all of you are still out there, reading this. As I said, I wasn't planning on the hiatus but you can all blame my brother, his friends and the pandemic for that  
> I hope you're all doing well (I first typed that as a y're'all and I think that's sexy of me) Stay safe, don't get Covid bc it sucks and have a good evening 💕

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, thanks for reading!
> 
> Hopefully I'll be posting every 10-15 days. I have written about nine more chapters but since I dislike to post as a write -since I'm very prone to have write's block- I keep those in store. In that topic, I might disappear weeks on end but I will most likely come back... or post all the written chapters at once if I'm really giving up.
> 
> Anyway, I hope it was a nice read.  
> Lots of love!  
> — Mai


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